Spring Fashion Trends for When You Go to a Bad Part of Town

A chic spring look should never be sacrificed, especially when visiting a sketchy part of town. Whether that brunch joint on skid row gets rave reviews, or you just had to find a new dealer, here’s what to wear when you travel to the other side of the tracks:

 

Reflective Sunglasses

Sunglasses are essential because they create a barrier between you and the garbage around you. Not only will you be able to hide behind the shades, you’ll be able to scan your surroundings for creepy, sketchy people trying to steal your Louis V. These will also help to hide your fear.

 

Printed Scarves

If there is one pattern en vogue this season, it’s florals: dress up casual attire with a floral silk scarf to wrap tightly around your mouth when a vagrant approaches on your way to the city’s best crêpes.

 

Bright Colors

Brights are trending in all the best spring collections, but extra-loud colors are nature’s way of letting people know you might be crazy. Muggers never mess with crazy people. A bold, bright outfit not only says, “I could be in Vogue,” it also says, “I’m not afraid to chew a man’s ear off.”

 

 

Arm Candy

A well-groomed and muscularly built gentleman escort can increase your social value and scare away crime. Dress him in spring trends for men: t-shirts and weapons.

 

Wedges

We just can’t get enough of wedges this season. They’re a spring staple. They serve no practical purpose, and are kind of hard to walk in, but what’re you gonna do, not wear them?

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