Sorry, but I Refuse to Share a Bathroom with a Greek Chorus

I know we live in a so-called “politically correct” society, but I come from a small town and believe in a right to privacy for all citizens. That’s why I’m sick and tired of sharing a public bathroom with this Greek chorus that keeps following me around everywhere. Every time I go to the ladies room, they’re always there, wearing masks and just staring at me through cracks in the stall while I pee.

 

What do I look like, a hero with some kind of tragic flaw? I’m sorry but this is a WOMEN’S bathroom!

 

And to all those people who say that this Greek chorus “has a right to be there like anybody else” and “are pretty integral to the story,” why isn’t anybody asking me how I feel about what’s going on in here? Nobody asked this happy wife and mother of three how she feels about what’s going on!

 

And what about the effect on my children, who are forced to listen to a graphic description of me on a long bathroom break after a very difficult breakfast? Who is going to protect them? Sure, the Greek chorus also follows me out of the bathroom when I leave and chants beside me wherever I go, but I’m mainly concerned about the bathrooms because that’s where I pee.

 

I just want to live in a country where I can go to the bathroom in peace, without a group of actors describing and commenting upon on what’s happening in a way that reflects the voice of greater society. Is that too much to ask?

 

This just isn’t the way I was raised. I’m not Agamemnon. I’m from St. Louis.

 

 

The other troubling thing about this chorus is that they all like to crowd around me while I’m washing my hands, blocking my access to the soap dispenser and the towels, all while repeating, “She looks like she’s having trouble.” Are they trying to intimidate me? I’m sorry, but would you accept that kind of behavior from someone who is not a Greek chorus? I don’t think so!

 

I just think that letting Greek choruses in bathrooms should be left up to the community to decide. Then I would move to a state where I could feel free to tell this Greek chorus to stop harassing me, or maybe lock them in a single-stall bathroom so they can go to the bathroom in unison without getting in my way.

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