You’re a sexual creature, and there’s nothing wrong with that. And your dog is also a sexual creature, probably, based on how many pillows she humps. You’re not really feeling costumes this year, but that doesn’t mean you can’t accentuate your dog’s hottest features. Here are slutty costume ideas for your dog that will bring all the good boys to the yard!
With a plaid skirt, frilly white shirt, and black nerd glasses, you’ll be turning heads all day at behavior school, because that’s the outfit your dog is wearing and they’re gonna be like “Wow, that dog looks really hot!” Just make sure that miniskirt is extra mini. You want those boys all up on her butt—if they haven’t sniffed it already!
Nothing will get companions more hot and bothered than dressing up like their greatest nemesis. And for dogs, that’s a mailman, so strap on a tiny mailbag and that pale-blue uniform and watch people fucking drool over your skanky-ass dog! As soon as you arrive on their doorstep, they’ll start barking nonstop. Come rain or shine, you’ll be there to make them whine.
Sexy Lady (from Lady and The Tramp)
Boys love a girl who is both sexy and knowledgeable about movies. So why not dress your dog up like the tragic heroine from Lady and The Tramp? Haven’t you noticed that dog is fucking naked? Bring your own plate of spaghetti and watch people (but mostly dogs) go wild. Your dog may be dressed as Lady, but you’ll be feeling like a tramp!
Human women often dress as sexy devils on Halloween to indicate their willingness to sin. For your dirty doggy, dressing like a cat is beyond hot. Other dogs will absolutely understand what your dog is doing and will be soooo turned on. As soon as you put a pair of cat ears on that dog, all the boys will be chasing you nonstop. This is better than if you had dressed up like a sexy cat yourself!
All of your dog’s friends might be tired of being called “good boys” by their owners. They’re longing to meet a bad bitch with a naughty streak. A striped jumper will show them your bitch has spent a few days in the pound—and liked it. If everything goes well, there will be more than one of you in the dog house tonight. Is it weird that you’ve gotten really invested in the idea of your dog being sexy?
These are just a few ideas for outfits that will drive your canine’s companions nuts. Every dog has its day, and for slutty dogs, that day is Halloween!