Sleeping in the Desert – The New Secret to Natural Blonde Highlights?

Desert - Reductress

We’ve all been there: Wrestling with uncooperative hair, trying to get that natural “I woke up like this” look, but could it really be that easy? Yes. As long as you wake up in the unforgiving sands of the Mojave Desert. The method is called “riding into the sunset” and it’s driving hundreds of women into arid wastelands for a natural and effortless new look. The trend’s followers include Julia Roberts, Kate Hudson, and a sun-bleached skeleton clutching a tattered map.

 

How can you get the look? It’s a simple process: stumble alone into the ageless, timeless dunes and fall asleep within the soft embrace of penetrating silence. Then allow the wind and sand to naturally tousle and bleach your hair as you rest surrounded by the howling coyotes. The secret to this carefree look? You’ll suffer from stage-six dehydration, leaving those tendrils smooth and blonde and your complexion soft and powdery. Don’t worry – you’ll look great!

 

They say the desert is haunted by the lonely whispers of men driven into madness by it’s vast, inescapable calm. Toss your new hair and give ’em something to shout about! Besides “Ma’am! Ma’am! Oh God, I think she’s dead.”

 

 

The trend is not without criticism: Some complain that your sexy new hair color won’t last since nosy EMT’s keep sticking them full of IV fluids before they can get to their hot date. True, but that’s what we have Instagram for, right?

 

Your new hair will look unreal by that mirage. Get a selfie with a lizard. Let your curls spill out onto the hot sand. You won’t have the energy for much else.

 

Oh, and for you girls afraid of thirsty, damaged hair, don’t worry! Not all deserts are in hot climates. You can get that enticing look by sleeping in the frozen tundra of the arctic. Just bring some earmuffs!