Skincare Essentials to Keep In Your Filthy Fucking Makeup Bag

Just because summer’s over doesn’t mean you have to give up easy, breezy beauty. With the right skincare products to stash in your foundation-stained, mascara-covered little makeup pouch, you can keep your skin looking lively and dewy all year round! Here are the best new skincare products you’ll keep in the same filthy fucking makeup bag you’ve had since college.

 

Bioderma Sensibio H2O Makeup Remover ($20)

This makeup remover is cleansing and lightweight, perfect for sensitive skin. With just a little dab, soon you’ll feel like a clean, barefaced goddess! When you’re done, toss the bottle into your disgusting, dusty makeup bag and please wash your hands.

 

Cell Renew Hydro-Plus Overnight Moisturizer ($75)

This intense moisturizer uses stem cell technology to transform your evening routine. Say goodbye to wrinkles, and also say goodbye to the clean exterior of this pristine-looking container, because the minute you put it in your grimy makeup bag, it will become sticky and grey, like the plumping mascara that you left open in there back in 2009. You know you can just buy a new bag, right?

 

 

Fresh Rose Deep Hydration Serum ($55)

Add a serum to your skincare regimen to enhance the appearance and health of your skin. Just a few drops of this fast-absorbing serum will leave you with smooth and glowing skin that lasts 24 hours. Your face will say, “I’m a radiant goddess who does yoga.” But the makeup bag you keep this serum in will say, “I’m a sickening crumb dumpster. Bathe in my dirt, bitch!” Wow!

 

La Mer Renewal Oil ($240)

For a facial elixir that costs as much as a bridesmaid dress, opt for La Mer Renewal Oil for skin repair. This elixir will make your skin look younger and more radiant and can also be used on your cuticles and other dry patches on your body. Embrace the stunning glow, and then shove this gorgeous glass bottle into your grubby fucking makeup bag that’s caked with makeup and dirt from years and years of sitting at the bottom of your purse. Oh, well. Your face looks pretty.

 

When it comes to keeping your face shiny and young, these skincare essentials are key. Just use them as part of your daily routine, then throw them in that festering makeup bag of yours. Honestly, why didn’t you throw that out three years ago?