Shaved Legs Expecting Some Action Tonight

The freshly shaved legs of Maggie Waters made a rare appearance on Monday night, alerting onlookers they were anticipating some action.


“This doesn’t happen often, so when you see those shiny, bare legs, you know they mean business,” a waiter at Harry’s Tavern noted, taking in their sleek, confident strut.


Water’s silky smooth extremities were last seen nearly a month prior, waltzing proudly though Katie Winters’ annual summer barbecue in anticipation of the arrival of ex-boyfriend Mark Minati. The limbs went back into fleeced hibernation after Minati arrived at the party.


“We’re over it,” confirmed Waters’ freshly moisturized legs, through their moisturized spray tan glow. “And Justin’s looking sharper than our razor tonight.”


Friends of Waters were pleased to see their friend’s saucy, silky gait make an appearance, and understand that they most certainly mean business tonight.



“Those legs are Italian,” exclaimed Waters’ friend, Megan Fahey. “Do you understand how furry those things get overnight? She must be really serious about getting laid tonight.”


Waters roommate Jacquelyn Ryan did not share the same sentiment.


“Maybe if she just shaved more often, she wouldn’t have to put so much stake into this one night,” Ryan said. “Her leg hair clogged the drain this afternoon.”


As the evening progressed, Waters’ legs were spotted kicking off a new pair of heels and heading out onto the dance floor, looking for a serious party.


Having accomplished their mission, Waters legs slid into a cab accompanied by a tall pair of men’s skinny jeans by night’s end.


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