A woman’s heart is a deep ocean full of secrets. And while we all know good communication is the key to great sex, sometimes we tend to over-share. So forget what you’ve been told about transparency – here are some truly unacceptable truths that he will never, ever be able to un-hear:
You Like to Do It in Front of Your Childhood Dolls
Feeling like a rebel empowers us, which in turn makes us more confident in bed. And fucking in front of your childhood dolls reminds you of one of the more rebellious periods of your life. But he might already be a little weirded out by the fact that Glass-Eyed Annie is always staring at him in your bedroom. Cooing in his ear about how much she likes his ass might be too much. You should probably leave your stuffed animals out of it, too. No man will be able to resist having day-mares about this entire experience!
You Love to Make Love to Skrillex
Of course you find the constant beat and soothing tones ideal for rockin’ it in the bedroom. But he might find it hard to concentrate, especially when you sing along to, “I want to kill everybody in the world! I want to eat your heart!” and imitate the bass dropping with your own voice every time he is about to come. He’ll be begging you to say you were just kidding.
You’ve Moved Beyond Sex Toys and onto Groceries
Christian Grey may have dominated your fantasies and fed your fetish for fun, but after a while, sadomasochism and bondage can become dull and repetitive. Trying to move beyond plain old sex toys might ruin his appetite. Literally. Because he was going to eat that cucumber for lunch tomorrow and now you’ve really fucked up that plan. You’ll be the only woman for him – to initiate a talk about boundaries with.
You Have a G-Spot…in your Butt
The doctors couldn’t explain it. Like Bigfoot and the Abominable Snowman, he is certain this is just a thing you’re saying to woo him into butt stuff. If you reveal your secret to him, he’ll be asking questions more than getting boners. Couldn’t you have gotten that fixed? He’ll be driven absolutely wild with medical concerns.
So the next time you feel like sharing your deepest secrets with him – DON’T. Just don’t. Now get out there and get wild and free!