September means back to school, which means it’s time to learn some new slang. Use these and you’ll be sitting at the cool table in no time!
n. A pointless assignment from your boss.
n. A celebration of the season’s abundance that involves abstaining from all of it.
n. A remembrance of all those hot soccer players from the summer.
v. To tell someone a dramatic lie to see how they’ll react.
Ex: “I’m totally gonna fire drill my stepmother this weekend and tell her I have breast cancer.”
n. A studio apartment.
n. A condom for an exceptionally small penis.
Ex: “Do I have Magnums?!? Yeah right, dude! You need a pencil case.”
n. A meeting in the bathroom to do cocaine.
adj. Used to describe someone you really liked at first, but then they started showing up everywhere and now you’re over them.
Ex: “James Franco is so pumpkin spice.”
n. Orange skin from self-tanner that lasts through the fall.
v. Acronym for Tell Me All About Your Summer.
Ex: “Randi, ohmygod, how was Nantucket with Josh? TMAAYS ASAP!”