Savage Responses to Your Ex’s Booty Calls That Imply, ‘Maybe Next Week’

In the dead of winter, no one wants to trek their ass to a bar to get laid. Instead, it’s much easier to text your ex a late-night booty call to see if you can get some. That’s exactly what your ex is doing with his “U up?” and “Hey” texts at 11pm. You do not want to get back involved with him and want to shut him the fuck down—tonight, at least. Here are some savage responses to your ex’s booty calls that imply, “Maybe next week.”

 

“Haha”

There’s nothing like some laughter to shatter male masculinity! A simple, brief “haha” is a way to pull the rug out from under him, while also being somewhat vague about what you actually want. That leaves room for a follow-up next week, when you might be horny enough to ride some troubled D. Why can’t you meet anyone new? Haha, indeed.

 

Three Thinking Emojis

When your ex hits you with a 2am “Miss u,” you might feel a lot of feelings, like annoyance that he won’t give you space and frustration that he didn’t text you before you got into your pajamas for the night. Reply with three thinking emojis that’ll destroy his game. It says “Um, really???” but it also says, “I’m going to think about it. Please follow up.”

 

 

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

BAM! Hit your ex with a terse and vicious reality check that will have his dick shrinking in his dirty sweatpants. How dare he text you after he treated you so badly? Also, is he kidding? Because you have to know exactly what he’s asking so you can properly evaluate whether or not to trudge over to this filthy apartment to fuck. “Are you fucking kidding me?” is the perfect response to send the ball right back in his court so that he hopefully hits you up again, hopefully soon.

 

When your ex torpedoes your phone with a booty call, you have to fire back with something brutal so he knows he’s crossed a line. Use any of these replies to show him that, deep down, you’re willing to cross that line, too. Rain check?

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