Renowned Theater Haunted By Actresses Over 40

Multiple sightings of paranormal activity have been reported over at Broadway’s Nederlander Theater, as witnesses recall the stage being haunted by two pale actresses over 40 years old. The ghoulish figures caused a major distraction during a production of War Paint, the musical about two middle-aged women who redefined the cosmetic industry in the 1930’s.

 

“It was really scary,” said one theatergoer. “We were watching the show and suddenly we all heard a noise and these two really old women floated onstage and started singing the songs from the show. It’s like, you hear about older actresses being a thing, but to actually see them? I was shaking in my seat.”

 

The Nederlander isn’t the only Broadway theater plagued with a ghostly presence. Down the street at the Barrymore, frightened audience members reported seeing the ghost of a once young Allison Janney. Her ghost is said to appear almost every evening around 8pm and criss-cross the stage, performing the motions of the lead role in John Guare’s Six Degrees of Separation.

 

“She was so real! At first I thought-it’s C.J. Cregg!” said one audience member. “But then I realized what I was seeing, an over-forty specter of a young popular actress, and I had to leave the theater and throw up.”

 

According to the reports, the ancient apparitions have been seen not just on stage, but also wandering around behind the scenes, often moving costumes and wigs as though they are still alive. The ghostly Christine Ebersole was spotted at the popular theater district restaurant Joe Allen, giving the term “theater haunt” a new meaning.

 

“These old spooky actresses are here, clinging to a life that once was. It’s pretty easy to miss them if you don’t keep your eyes peeled, since they’re barely ever in the public eye, but they’re there. I had three in section 2 last week,” recalled a Joe Allen waiter.

 

 

Experts brought in to assess the hauntings have concluded that the actresses appear to have unfinished business. “We thought we had vanquished Patti Lupone after she haunted Gypsy in 2008 and stole one of the Tony figurines,” said Dale Diaz, a paranormal expert in NYC. “But she’s clearly back with a vengeance. I don’t know why she won’t move on. We brought in a psychic who said she’s trying to revive A Little Night Music. It’s like she doesn’t know what year it is.”

 

Legend has it if you go to the theater on Tuesday’s at 7:00, Wednesday-Saturday at 8:00, Wednesday’s and Saturday’s and 2:00 and Sunday’s at 3:00, that you can still hear many of these women saying their lines and staring out towards the audience as though they don’t even see the living people there.

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