We all know that no relationship is perfect. But amidst the flaws and foibles are a few common relationship dealbreakers that you may want to consider, and that even your inconsiderate boyfriend Ben thinks are legit, even though he does most of them. Here are the top relationship ruiners that even Ben can’t attribute to your “whining” and “pickiness.”
Your partner is untrustworthy.
If your partner is repeatedly caught in a lie, or cannot be relied upon, this is definitely merit for ending the relationship. For instance, the other day when Ben showed up after being missing for three days saying his phone “fell in the river,” even he had to admit that trust and communication are the foundation to any healthy relationship, and that you’d be well within reason to break things off. So like, just go for it, okay? Ben now agrees with your friends and family about Ben—what more do you need?
The sex is bad.
Like most things in a relationship, things in the bedroom can be improved upon with openness and exploration…but sometimes you’re just not sexually compatible. Even though Ben is always saying how foreplay is “a waste of time” and that fingering is “kinda gay,” he will readily admit that if “it’s not hot, you gotta trot.” And that’s actually a tattoo on his bicep, so he totally gets it. Not that you should really even be considering what he thinks at this point…
You disagree on larger life goals.
If one of you wants children and the other doesn’t, or if a big religious difference is hanging over your future, it could be time to move on. And while you’re not quite sure what Ben wants out of life other than to “get the band back together one of these days,” you know that he “would never date a woman that couldn’t support [his] love for Wendy’s.” Might be time to make sure you two are on the same page about, y’know, the big stuff.
You’re having long distance troubles.
For some people, long distance just isn’t doable. So it’s completely reasonable to walk away if you can’t handle the distance. Just ask Ben—who once moved to his dad’s place across the state without notice and would call you from pay phones every Tuesday for six months—because he’s probably completely on the same page about “doing what you gotta do.”
You want different things, commitment-wise.
It’s super important that both people in the relationship agree on how serious you are and/or the rules of the relationship. For example, if you’re ready to be exclusive and the person you’re with still wants to see other people, it may be smart to go your separate ways. Ben once drunkenly suggested a threesome with you and his “backup piece” but you’re like 90% sure he was totally joking. If you can search his texts and prove he wasn’t though, this is a valid dealbreaker, even for Ben, because he once said “you’ve gotta be on the same page with your partner” about a video game.
At the end of the day, the most important thing is to do what feels right for you. Every relationship is different and only you can decide what your dealbreakers are. But like your boyfriend Ben always says, “Who needs labels?!”