Even the casual daytime drinker knows about Mardi Gras and St. Patrick’s Day, when college students worldwide take to the streets with Big Gulps of rum and coke. But real partiers know the parade year is just heating up. Here’s our list of annual parades for all you ladies asking, “when can I let loose and pee in public?”
International Women’s Day Parade – March 8th
Honor your less fortunate global sisters by naming a woman in power with every swig from your shot glass necklace. To feel really liberated, drink straight from the bottle. Or if you’re feeling even more liberated, flash someone!
Luxembourg Day Parade – June 23rd
You don’t have to be Luxembourgeish to raise a public
Mother Teresa’s Birthday Parade – August 26th
The generous spirit of Mother Teresa is alive and well as thousands double fist through San Francisco in her honor annually. If one of your friends gets black out drunk, make sure the guy that takes her home is cute! Just like Mother Teresa would have wanted.
Back-to-School Day Parade – September 3rd
This became Rochester’s favorite official parade when overjoyed mothers started walking home together after dropping their children off on the first day of school. Bring a pitcher of Bloody Marys, a spiked Capri Sun, or a baby bottle of vodka to join in this matronly get-down.
Remember, partying in public is not for amateurs. Before you put on a costume, stop and think, “am I willing to spend a night in jail in this?” If you can’t say yes, you’re not parade material.