With the recent popularization of workwear, it can be difficult to tell if a man is wearing Dickies, a Carhartt Jacket, and a bright orange hat because he is a construction worker staying mobile and safe on the job, or because he is a visual artist who lives in his parents TriBeCa loft. Are you scrambling to figure out which one he is? Take this quiz to find out!
Are his clothes normally dirtied?
a.) From time to time there’s some dirt, paint, or dried cement on his clothing.
b.) He absolutely always has perfect splatters of strategically placed white paint on his pants.
Is his work physically taxing?
a.) Yes. He is usually very tired at the end of the day.
b.) I guess so? He often talks about how grueling his current “project” is and how working with found materials is labor intensive but his hands are very soft.
Where do you see him?
a.) Primarily on construction sites.
b.) In thrift stores seeking out the thickest, toughest, most beige articles of clothing he can find before slinking back to the lower Manhattan cobblestone street his mother calls home.
What time does he wake up?
a.) 6 am, he has to get to work.
b.) I have never seen him before 12 pm.
Does he create phallic structures?
Mostly As: He is probably a construction worker who uses his labor to build structures we all use and benefit from. If this guy’s wearing high-vis, it’s most likely for safety and not in lieu of a personality. Build on!
Mostly Bs: Sounds like he is a visual artist who probably makes big, dumb sculptures with chicken wire or derivative, dark toned splatter paintings that are bad. For now he keeps his wardrobe of canvas double knee pants and bib overalls in the walk-in closet of his parents’ TriBeCa loft, but soon he will move for a residency in Texas or Montana or some other state with a more masculine landscape. Bon voyage!