You’re a resourceful, strong woman who is ready to take on the night with everything you’ve got. You’re feeling great because you’re in charge. But sometimes, certain moments get you weak—like seconds before specifically requesting that your vodka be well. It’s hard to articulate this embarrassing selection—your tongue gets tied, your adrenaline soars, and suddenly it’s super hot in there. How can you confidently declare “well vodka, please” when talking to your bartender, especially if there are other respectable adults within earshot? Here are some power stances to try out right there in the bar before ordering your next gross well drink.
Arms and Feet Spread Wide
The easiest and simplest of power stances, this one will definitely take your request for a well only drink to the highest level. Take a deep, long breath as you spread out your limbs. Close your eyes and imagine the shameful words boldly slipping out of your mouth. Do not apologize for this drink order, or the fact that you are blocking the bathroom. You’re a big, beautiful girl who’s never had Ketel One!
Warrior Position
This is a familiar pose for the yogis out there. Step your right foot out into a deep lunge, reaching both arms straight up overhead. This will get the blood flowing all throughout your body and make you feel strong again, in spite of your inferior tastes in liquor. This will unleash raw, unfiltered, metallic-tasting power that gets you shouting, “Yes, I said well, no not Grey Goose—do not pour that. I am not ashamed of this drink, or doing yoga in a bar!”
Legs Spread, Hands on Hip
This spirited, superhero-like pose will grant you tenacity for the next time you are in this repeatedly humiliating vodka situation. You’ll be able to shake your head with a firm “no” to any other shelf suggestion and resolutely mouth “well” when prompted by the astonished bartender. It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s a girl who’s too drunk to care what her drinks taste like!
Prayer Hands with Tree Pose
A calm pose unlike the others, this one will get your focus in the game. Bring your hands to prayer position and the sole of your foot resting on your inner thigh. Sometimes the most effective form of confidence is the quiet confidence of meditating in a bar. This pose will bring a more direct approach to your need for just well vodka and soda, not the “good stuff.”
Foot in Hand, Leg Extended
Notably the hardest of power stances, this one comes with maximum benefit. It will get your heart pumping, your muscles stretched out, and your mind focused on your clear mission: to order that well drink with no embarrassment or shame. Not to mention the bartender will not question anything you do after seeing you do this. Guide your inner queen to its deepest desire—the lowest level of the liquor shelf.
Use these stances any time you need an extra boost to order that lesser drink. You deserve well and can confidently deflect that second of disdain your bartender shoots you. Stay powerful, girl!
