Life is full of natural highs! It’s just that some of them are better when you’re actually high. No matter what your approach is to getting the most out of life’s experiences, here are four of our favorite natural highs that are even better when you’re kind of fucked up:
Did you know that the “runner’s high” is a real thing? That’s right — after strenuous exercise, like a long, hard run, your brain thanks you by flooding your body with endorphins, allowing you to experience a mild euphoria, or the body’s own natural high! Nothing beats that! Except being actually high while you run, which is definitely better. Why are you running? Who is chasing you? Does everyone know you’re high? Why are legs? Faster, go faster, they all know! Your Fitbit will thank you the next day, if you can find it. (You put it in the fridge.)
Volunteering in the Community
Doing good deeds is a great way to get your brain to release dopamine, which is a neurotransmitter that makes your body feel good! Helping out your neighbors and getting a little natural buzz is a win-win! But wouldn’t a teensy bit of cocaine make it a win-win-win? Hit the nails. Build a house. Build six houses. Guys, build eighty houses–guys, what if we built 80 houses?? YOU go to law school, DAD.
Watching the Sun Rise
Call us sentimental, but there’s just no synthetic high that comes close to watching the sun rise. The stillness of the early morning, the dazzling colors, the oneness with nature. It’s a pure, primal experience that can only get better if you’re also on shrooms. You understand time. You hear the earth’s axis. You’ve been awake for two weeks. Your eyes are so dry. How do you blink. Does anyone remember blink? Do you live on the roof? In some way we all live on a roof, get it?
Dig a Hole
Dig a hole, that’s great for all kinds of things. Dig it fast or else. Dig it now, you have to dig it right now. Dig it much faster; it’s all there, they’ll understand soon. Not deep enough not deep enough. Shhh–you’re digging too loud, all the bugs will hear you. The ant queen lives inside of you. Tickle her. QUIET. Quiet. Quuuuiiiiieeeeeeeet. Be cool, you’re home now. Dig dig dig.