My Mom Waited To Cut The Umbilical Cord, and Now She’s Here Living In My Dorm Room

My mom is a huge part of my life. She’s been there ever since I can remember, encouraging me to follow my heart, inspiring me to dream big, and living here in my college dorm with me because she never cut the umbilical cord and has to come with me everywhere.

 

I know what you’re thinking. Yes, even when I take shits.

 

The umbilical cord, for those of you who don’t still have it dangling out of your belly button, is the cord that connects the fetus and the placenta, supplying the baby with nutrient-rich blood. But this is where the standard definition falls short: umbilical cords can also supply a young college-aged woman with nutrient-rich blood, making her big and healthy and strong, according to my mom, who never, ever cut it off, even when it started to smell.

 

Now I know some people might be asking, “Doesn’t the cord typically dry up and fall off on its own?” And the answer of course is, yes! Staying attached to my mom has required a lot of upkeep as well as a slew of highly experimental surgeries. Worth it in my opinion, as my mom is my best friend, and I am grateful for all those amazing nutrients!

 

Despite being attached at the cord, my mother has always given me a relatively normal life. On my sixteenth birthday, I wanted to have a sleepover party, so we invited Alice, Ruth and Trix from choir over to watch Clueless. My mom sat on the couch right next to me not just out of necessity – because of the cord – but also because like I said, she is my best friend.. She fell asleep at 9pm and snored a lot, which definitely ruined the movie, and Ruth and Trix had to be picked up early, but I was happy that my three friends were there for 45 minutes and that we had so much fun.

 

My dad sometimes feels left out, but then I remind him how weird it would have been if he were the one there next to me reading a magazine while I lost my virginity. He always agrees when I remind him that.

 

Now that I’m in college, I’m starting to crave a bit more independence. But my mom is really chill and sometimes will close her eyes for a little while or pretend that she can’t see me. It’s actually 7:55 am right now and I’m trying to stay quiet and not rustle the umbilical cord as I type because my mom is asleep next to me on the top bunk. It’s nice to have some alone time, I guess. My roommate Dani is moving out because she thinks our situation is “fucking weird,” but I know she just doesn’t understand the kind of bond a mother and a daughter has when they are still connected by a literal cord.

 

 

Once my mom wakes up, we’ll probably go have pancakes in the dining hall. One cool thing about being attached to my mom by two major arteries and most fluids is that we only use one swipe to get in to breakfast! Sometimes I wonder what food tastes like but for now I’m happy to be such a big healthy baby/woman.

 

I’m hoping that when I graduate, my mom will finally feel like the timing is right to cut the cord, but it’s obviously her call, because she is my mother and I owe her everything, including my entire life. What kind of bond could be more special than that?

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