My Baby Has A Perfect Fucking Latch

Danielle & Lilliyan Flickr

When it comes to b-feeding, or breastfeeding as your mom calls it, my baby fricking kills it. From day one, he was taking that nipple deep into his mouth and efficiently sucking down all the milk I had to offer. Thanks to his gentle but firm as shit suckle, my nipples have never known soreness. Other moms tell me how lucky I am. But there’s luck, and there’s skill. And my baby has mad latching skills to latch with the best of them.

 

Being his mom feels natural.

 

I’ve heard crazy horror stories from other moms about infants that chew up their nipples, or can barely hold that little nip in their mouths at all, leaving their sad mamas with pathetic plugged milk ducts and a low-ass number on the pediatrician’s scale. That’s why I’m so glad my son got it together so fast and was so natural with that shit.

 

It’s really beautiful to watch.

 

Some women need to meet with sad, old lady lactation consultants and read boring old books trying to figure out what they’re doing wrong and why their baby can’t connect with that sweet milky teat. It’s a damn shame. Luckily I’ve been blessed with a child who excels at sucking it down. He’s never spit up a drop of my milk. Isn’t that crazy? He’s in like the millionth percentile for height and weight. Boom shakalaka!

 

I cherish this precious time in my son’s life.

 

If his latch is any indication of what’s in store for his future, we have a future X-gamer on our hands — he’s just so chill with trying a new skill! When my milk started to come in, it didn’t throw this little dude at all! He just slowed his roll on that suckle and eased right into the heavy flow. And what, bitches? And. What. Bitches.

 

 

Think of all the brains this little guy is growing!

 

The perfection if his latch would melt your ever-loving heart. His eyes are so fucking focused and his jaw is tight. I’d wake him up and nurse him right now if I didn’t have so much faith in him being a master at a self-led feeding schedule. He fucking owns.

 

I guess you could say we make a great team.

 

I know he’s still mad young, but this kid is on his shizz! His latch is just so friggen good. No exaggeration. I’m about to post a video on YouTube. I don’t want to brag, but this kid is the definition of #YOLO. I wish you could all be so fucking blessed. Don’t even get me started in this kid’s ability to fill diapers. It’ll take your breath away.