According to reports, local mother Denise Totten scheduled her daughter’s annual dentist appointment for 8am like a complete madwoman.
Denise’s daughter Morgan, who will be home for the holidays, was shocked to find out her mother secured her the first available appointment.
“She offered to schedule a dentist appointment for me, which is really nice,” Morgan says. “But when I saw the time, I was like, are you a fucking lunatic?”
Other family members report that this is typical for Denise, who tends to schedule like a raving lunatic who has lost her grip on reality.
“Even if they offer a much more reasonable morning time, like 9:45, she springs for the 8am slot,” says Morgan’s sister, Callie. “Even when we ask her not to. Even when we say, please don’t.”
Sources close to Denise say that she’s a longtime vocal proponent of “getting things out of the way” and being an “early bird.”
“So she wants me to wake up at 7:15 so I can be told I need to floss more,” she says of the unconscionably deranged matriarch.
Morgan says that she is happy to wake up early, but when she goes home for the holidays hopes to catch up on sleep, unlike her mother, who is nuts.
And this isn’t the only thing Denise will schedule early in the morning.
“Haircuts, doctor appointments, car maintenance—it’s all at the fucking crack of dawn,” Callie says. “And then around 4pm, my mom starts yawning and wondering why she’s so tired.”
“What the hell is her problem?” says husband, Daniel Totten. “I mean, really, what is her problem?”
Morgan says she won’t reschedule the appointment out of respect for her mother’s effort.
“She’s kind of deranged, but she is my mother so I’m used to it.”
When asked to comment, Denise said she would be happy to elaborate in person.
“Would you like to meet for coffee? I’m free at 8am.”