A great investment for your wardrobe is with a soft, luxurious, dry-clean only sweater. But dry cleaning is preeeetty expensive, and requires effort, so here are the most indulgent sweaters you’ll wear once and never, ever take to the dry cleaners because that’s just not a thing you do.
Alpaca Wool Sweater
Prized for its extreme softness, an alpaca wool sweater feels amazing on your skin while lending a touch of class to your outfit for one full day before you give up on it altogether. After it’s covered in spaghetti sauce from the shrimp scampi you ate for dinner, this one’s gonna go in the special hamper for dry cleaning and remain there for years as you rotate the same three sweatshirts, over and over again. Now that’s true luxury!
Silk Cardigan Sweater
Treat yourself to this ritzy button-up sweater and enjoy it while it lasts, because soon you’ll fall asleep with your head on your arms and get black mascara all over the sleeves and really fuck this one up. Put “Take to the dry cleaners” on your to-do list at an attempt to preserve your precious clothing, and never, ever go. It’s that easy to purchase a silk cardigan and only wear it once! You definitely don’t deserve nice things.
Merino Wool Sweater
Merino wool is considered a luxury for being both impossibly delicate and durable. Which you’ll never be able to fully appreciate, since this sweater is pretty much game over as soon as you bleed a little on it after dropping a full glass of wine, tripping, and falling onto the glass. If you can’t seem to get through one day without spilling or bleeding on yourself, what makes you think you’ll make it to the dry cleaners alive?
Pima Cotton Sweater
Pima cotton is made from high-caliber material that’s smooth, fine and you guessed it: unable to be washed with your normal laundry. A pima cotton sweater will give your work attire a subtle sophistication until you destroy it by just sitting near other people eating a meal. Somehow a series of unidentified food splotches are all over you, and you may be wondering why you didn’t go for the black sweater in the first place? And what is a ‘dry cleaner’ anyway? Where is he? You don’t know, and you refuse to find out. Fuck this sweater.
These luxurious sweaters will feel so, so good, you’ll want to wear it forever. But since you’d rather drop $150 on a sweater than ever consider dry cleaning it, so we hope you really enjoy it for that one glorious day!