When you want to express deep and complicated problems that affect you, the Katies in your life don’t really “get it.” So here’s a quick list of conversation topics so you can keep it light when you talk to any of the Katies in your life.
Talk about movies.
Everyone likes movies – especially Katies! But be sure to keep your references in line, because their favorite movie is always Clueless and Katies don’t like to “get political.” So when Katies ask, “Can we talk about something else, please??” after you bring up how the recent Muslim ban is affecting your family, just nod politely as she berates you for not having seen Clueless, and you’ll be good as neutral gold!
Talk about their days!
Avoid talking about that racist dude who harassed you on the subway, because Katies notoriously cannot hold much emotional baggage. Hey, it’s not their fault – if Katies were really able to take a genuine interest in you, they would! Instead of asking if your Katie has read anything you’ve posted about the history of women’s marches, a total change of subject will go a long way to appease any Katie – even the quiet ones!
Talk about science.
Smart or not smart, science is full basic facts, and basic facts are exactly what you need when talking to Katies. But while you might agree on climate science, agreeing on actually doing something about it might be scary or uncomfortable for your Katies, so keep it light! “Earth is big” or “plant needs water” are great places to start!
Talk about the time of day.
Saying “it’s early” or “it’s late” is a great, harmless way to talk to Katies, and you may find that Katies even agree that it’s early or late! Careful not to mention anything you plan to do during a time of day — your Katies will not be able to process why you’re going to the OBG-YN to switch your birth control, because of the “emotional turmoil around your body” isn’t something that Katies are going to understand. To avoid unproductive suggestions like “Have you tried an IUD??” save yourself the heartache and get to the “Wow, it’s sooo dark out already!”
Talk about socks.
Everyone loves socks, so talk about those! Don’t bring up your leg hair, cause Katies won’t get it.
Talk about dogs. Worst-case scenario, you can always talk about dogs. Dogs in vests, dogs with tongues, dogs that hold paws with other dogs… this will let you and Katies sink into a fairly long conversation with minimal effort! It doesn’t matter if you have a sick dog or only bought a dog to replace the absence of your dead parent — just stuff it down! It’s only once in a lifetime that your Katies and you can connect on this kind of dog-level. You literally can’t fuck this one up!
When you’re carrying a lot of complex emotions about yourself and the world around you, hanging out with your Katies can be hard. But with this quick list of topics that mean nothing to you but are easy to talk about, you and your Katies will be in Light Conversation City!