From sheet masks to aqua peeling, K-beauty trends have taken over the American market, which is common sludge in comparison. So put away that wet mud you bought from Sephora and get ready to experience the newest skincare miracles arriving from overseas! Here are the top Korean beauty products that wipe the floor with all of your Western face garbage.
Son & Park Beauty Water ($30, Soko Glam)
This Beauty Water from Son & Park is part toner, part cleanser and an all-around destroyer of your American face crap you call “makeup”. Created by master artists Son Dae-Sik and Park Tae-Yun, it also has exfoliation abilities that surpass anything “Americans” could make stateside. Say goodbye to whatever cheap, silty cleanser you just bought from Rite Aid, because this Korean skin care revelation just ate it alive and shit it out.
NEOGEN Bio-Peel Gauze Peeling Wine ($27, Neogenderma.com)
These wine-soaked pads smooth the surface of your skin by getting deep inside your pores and destroying the debris left behind by your sad American face waste. With just a few swipes, this grape-scented Eastern godsend can take everything your so called “oil control” cleansing cloths once held dear and destroy it without remorse. You’re not in the makeup aisle at KMart anymore, Dorothy! You’re in the realm of K-beauty brands, and they’re not here to make friends with your useless Western slurry.
Secret Brush 121 Skin ($13, Memebox)
Look no further than this Korean “secret brush” for a flawless blend and a total one-up on the American trash tool you’ve been using to apply garbage to your face for years. With a cutting-edge handle designed for maximum control, this product swirls foundation into your skin well enough you’ll want to leave the States for good, partially for the best skin results and also to just live in a land far more efficient than here. Guaranteed, you won’t miss that pathetic chemical soup you’ve been smearing all over yourself since puberty!
Vita Propolis Ampoule ($38, Glow Recipe)
Known in Korea as “the Lord’s teardrop,” propolis provides a healing effect to your skin, which has no doubt been destroyed by the industrial wastewater you’ve been buying from Walgreens. Your $7 bottle of benzoyl peroxide never really stood a chance against this gift sent to you from across the ocean, where everything they make continues to make your “face wash” seem like acidic Western mine drainage.
For skin that will make your friends say, “Holy shit!” try to purchase any of these K-beauty products online, just know they might all be sold out because the hype is real. In that case, feel free to just settle with that disgusting old face slop you use every day.