It’s Not You, It’s Me Pretending It’s Not You

I know things haven’t been easy between us lately. We’ve had so many talks about how to “work things out,” or “just move forward.” But after some soul-searching, I’ve finally realized that I can’t work it out or move forward; at least not with you. So I think we should break up. But please don’t think it’s your fault! Truthfully, it’s my fault for always saying that it’s not your fault.

 

The real problem is it’s not you; it’s me pretending it’s not you.

 

I don’t mind that you’re needy and overbearing. I do mind that I keep telling you I don’t mind. You see, I just don’t like the person I become when I’m around you. And that’s a person who constantly makes excuses for her partner and his shitty behavior. Don’t get me wrong, you’re perfectly fine being totally shitty, but I’m not okay with acting like I’m okay with you being shitty.

 

I’m sick of lying to my friends about how you’re such a great guy. I’m sick of telling my mother that, “Oh, he’s so considerate, he’s always offers to watch CSI: Miami with me,” when I HATE that show. And now she’s sent me a CSI: Miami mug for my birthday, and it’s the worst. The character development on that show sucks, and I’m sick of pretending it doesn’t just because you like it so much.

 

 

I’m just going through a selfish phase right now. I say that because it’s an idea I think you must understand, being someone who never shares the Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Googles himself eight times a day. I just need to focus more on me, and less on how much time I’m wasting focusing on you.

 

I hope we can still be friends! You know, the kind of friends who pretend they care about each other. The ones who swear they’ll get coffee next week but never do. I’ll even “like” some of your more neutral Facebook statuses! At least then, it’ll be a kind of pretending we can both live with. So I hope you understand where I’m coming from. If you don’t, just remember that no matter what, I’ll always pretend that you’ll stay in my heart forever.

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