Sharing a home-cooked meal can be a great way to spend time with the guy you’re dating. When he offers to cook, you might be thrilled! But beware: Along with a delish meal comes a valid fear that the man making you a meal is actually not a skilled chef and is instead being coached by a talented French rodent with impeccable taste hiding in his floppy white hat. Take this quiz to find out if he’s a good chef or if a charismatic little rat is underneath his hat controlling his every move!
Does he wince in pain when he adds ingredients?
a.) No. He seems totally fine and I usually stand in the kitchen next to him while he’s cooking.
b.) Yes! He seems out of control. He’s moving as if a small grey idealistic rat with a dream climbed into his hat and is pulling his hair to control his movements like a marionette.
Does he talk about how he learned to cook?
a.) Yes! He loves telling stories about cooking with his mom growing up. Food seems to have been a really big part of his upbringing.
b.) No. In fact, he appears to have recently acquired these advanced cooking skills. Perhaps there is an animated rat named Remy with an impressive sense of smell who, before this, used his incredible nose to protect his rat family in the Parisian sewers?
If you ask him a question about the food, does he answer right away?
a.) Yes. He’s super knowledgeable about the ingredients and the dishes he creates. He even showed me several of the cookbooks that taught him what he knows.
b.) No, there’s always a small pause between when I ask and when he answers, as if he’s waiting for the prodigal rat chef with Patton Oswalt’s voice to whisper wise words he learned from working in the late French chef Auguste Gusteau’s restaurant.
Does he ever cook without a hat?
a.) Yes. He usually just cooks in whatever he wore that day.
b.) No. He insists on wearing a suspiciously tall chef’s hat under which one could conceivably fit a lil’ cutie rat who just wants to make good stew!
Mostly As: He’s a good chef! Sounds like he’s one of the lucky few that has a passion and has worked hard to be good at it. No red flags here!
Mostly Bs: He is definitely being controlled by a small rat with a simple dream of serving people perfectly salted French food. You can still let him cook for you, but be sure he gives the credit to our favorite Pixar rat!