I was recently reflecting on celebrities I’d have sex with, and realized a large number of them are female. It suddenly occurred to me that I should probably check in and make sure that all straight women would also have sex with these female celebrities. Because this is something we all do, right? Or is this a part of my sexual orientation and I’m actually bisexual? I’m cool either way, but would love to know. Here are some female celebrities that are confusing me, or not?? Let me know.
Rihanna is a total goddess. From her tattoos to her personal style to her singing voice, she is very hot and I would definitely have sex with her. Everyone else gettin’ this vibe?
25-year-old Australian starlet Margot Robbie has a very symmetrical face and what appears to be very soft skin and I would definitely roll around naked with her. Not sure whether or not this means that I am bisexual. I’d love for someone to rate how normal this is on a scale of 1-10. Anyone?
Eva Longoria was definitely the hottest of the Desperate Housewives. Didn’t we all think that? I assume we did. Wouldn’t we all love to make out with her? I assume we do. Sometimes she has a little wisp of hair hanging down and I want to put it behind her ear. Is this a universal impulse or is it just me???
It’s hard for me to imagine that anyone wouldn’t want to have sex with Mila Kunis. From what I can tell, it seems the majority of people in the world would jump at the opportunity to get intimate with Mila Kunis and have some sweet pillow talk after the fact. Definitely tell me if I am wrong but I feel pretty confident about this. Or maybe I’m just bisexual! Or maybe I’m not. Is there a chart somewhere?
I would have sex with and maybe also date Rashida Jones. It seems like we both have a lot in common. Maybe we could get a nice dinner and then go to like a comedy show or something. But isn’t everyone planning elaborate dates they would go on with Rashida Jones anytime they see her in film or television—or does the fact that I do that signify that I am bisexual??? Guys??? A LITTLE HELP HERE????
Okay, you’d have to be crazy to disagree with me here. There is definitely something about Rachel McAdams that makes me (and everyone??) want to settle down and raise children with her, maybe, I don’t know, like in San Francisco or something, so that the kids have access to city life but also it’s still pretty suburban? Doesn’t that sound super nice to me but also everyone unless I’m bisexual, in which case maybe not everyone? I would be surprised if wanting to fall in love with Rachel McAdams over the course of a life together wasn’t a completely universal feeling but I guess anything is possible???
As a straight woman, this is a sampling of the female celebrities that I am attracted to. If not all other straight women are attracted to them—which like, seems crazy, they are all objectively very beautiful, but okay—please let me know and I will update my sexuality on my social media accounts. Thank you!