Is Eating A Stranger’s Placenta Right For You?

With all the birthing options out there today, it can be tough to decide which one’s right for you – especially if you’re not even pregnant. Sure, eating placenta sounds a little “out there” by our modern, clinical attitudes about maternity, but there are countless time-tested health benefits of eating placenta – anyone’s placenta. Whether you’re pregnant, not pregnant, or have no plans of being pregnant, here’s what you need to know in order to decide if you should eat someone else’s afterbirth:

 

Are you low-energy?

Lots of women hit that afternoon slump right around 3PM. You could reach for another cup of coffee, but the caffeine comedown is no fun. Sugary snacks provide a momentary boost, but they’re hard on your waistline. Why not pop a few placenta pills? Many sleep-deprived new moms swear by ingesting their placenta in dehydrated, encapsulated pill form throughout the day to keep their energy up. Just because you don’t have a wily newborn to look after doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to feel awake!

 

Do you get sad sometimes?

Post-partum depression sounds like it would really cut into your child-free social life. If you sometimes feel sad because something bad has happened, you might benefit from eating another woman’s bloody womb leftovers. Some studies show that certain proteins in the tissues may increase overall mood and prevent the body’s “loss” response to having given birth, or if you haven’t given birth, something equally significant, like switching gyms or breaking up with Ryan. Show your body you care by rummaging around in a medical waste bucket outside your local doula’s house.

 

 

Are you squeamish?

While some women pay to have their amnion dehydrated and put into gel capsules for quick and easy placentophagy, others prefer to cook their afterbirth like any other meat product. Yikes, right? Since you won’t have much of a say in how that strange woman prepares her womb remnants, it’s good to consider if you have a strong enough constitution to handle something like swallowing foreign afterbirth.

 

Do you get shy around strangers?

In the age of texting and Gchat, it can be hard to forge new face-to-face human connections. If you’re someone who has a trickier time than others when it comes to making friends, you might be better off not eating a stranger’s afterbirth. Asking someone at your lunch table, “You gonna eat that?” is hard enough, but even more so when the snack in question came out of their vaginas. Make sure you have some good icebreakers on hand if you’re a little introverted, like “What’s your name?” or “How many hours old is your baby?” or “May I eat your placenta?” It’ll be clunky at first, but wit ha little self-confidence, you could be munching on amnion in no time.

 

So if you’re curious about this year’s superfood but not sure it’s for you, use these handy tips!

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