After being fired by her boss of three years, 28-year-old Rebecca Jaffe took to Twitter to announce that leaving her corporate job was “the best decision I’ve ever made.”
Rebecca, who was terminated for below-average performance and arriving to work late 16 times in one quarter, is “thrilled” to finally have more time to devote to writing and travel, the latter of which she could not afford to do before and will absolutely not be able to afford to do now. Incredible!
“Thanks for being so understanding about all of this,” Jaffe said to Human Resources Manager Erica Shaw while reviewing her termination paperwork. “I just feel like I need to see more of Europe and maybe Australia before I get overly settled into this industry, you know?”
Shaw later told us, “It’s nice that Rebecca’s so optimistic, but I’m concerned that she doesn’t understand when her health care will end.”
When we mentioned these concerns to Jaffe, she laughed and remarked, “Oh, that Erica. Maybe she could use a little break from the rat race! I’ve personally found it to be life-changing.”
In their official report, Human Resources noted that they had never witnessed an employee react to termination in this way, and they suspected it was perhaps “a millennial response to rejection.”
While conspicuously raiding the supply closet for Post-its and pens, Jaffe explained to coworker Josh McBride, “I always worried that this would be the kind of job that would take me away from my kids.” When McBride asked, “But you don’t have any kids, right?” Jaffe merely laughed and said, “Well, not in the literal sense.”
Later on, as Jaffe was packing up her desk plants and mugs, she could be heard saying, “It’s all happening!” to anyone who accidentally made eye contact with her.
“I guess if I could give you one piece of unsolicited advice,” Jaffe said to a stranger in the elevator, “Don’t let the so-called ‘safety’ of a job hold you back from seeing what else the world has to offer.”