Improved Mood Ring Actually ‘Gets’ You

Remember mood rings and how they tried to blindly guess how you were feeling – you, a woman who contains multitudes? Now, an improved mood ring that really gets you has hit the market, its finely tuned ability detects even the most complex emotions.

 

“I knew I was feeling…something,” says Carol Freig, describing a recent blind date. “But I couldn’t tell if it was hope or fear. One look at my mood ring and it was clear: According to the color guide, I was feeling what Germans call ‘die angst.’”

 

This ring totally gets why you want to quit your job, even if your friends and boyfriend are all convinced you’ve got a great thing going for you.

 

If the ring turns a deep ocean blue, you are craving some sort of change, any change at all.

 

“Even my husband got it wrong when I was lying awake at night, anxious,” says Susan Canton. “My mood ring knew that I just need a little extra attention, maybe some sensual touch, to make me feel at ease.”

 

 

Are you in touch with your feelings about motherhood? More accurate than a basal thermometer, which can merely detect ovulation, this mood ring nails when you are really ready to have a child.

 

“Sage green meant go,” Sage Unkelsson says, rubbing her pregnant belly. “It’s amazing how much you can trust your own intuition when you have this ring!”

 

Even being emotionally unavailable is something the ring can now help you recognize, turning a matte, shark’s eye black – not to be confused with comfortably numb (carbon black).

 

The ring’s display spans a spectrum of over 2,000 colors, including all 256 shades of gray. You can find the new mood ring at select health food stores.

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