I’ll Start Texting Again When They Finally Make a Taco Emoji

Emoji have been having a moment for quite some time now, and aren’t going anywhere soon. At first they just made texting more fun, but now I downright can’t live without them. They’re a quick and adorable way to ask your friends to happy hour, celebrate holidays and tell them you’re pooping. Why use words when there’s a judgmental moon face?

 

Only problem is, there are quite a few missing emoji. Sandwich, cupcake, T-rex, middle finger, handcuffs, and vibrator are missing, but there’s one absent picture symbol that I simply won’t live without. To the makers of emoji, I ask you this:

 

¿Donde está el taco?

 

How did this happen? You made a wall calendar AND a desk calendar, but no taco?! I just can’t live in a world where there are two dragon emoji, and not even a stinking taco shell. The least they can do is give us an ambiguous soft shell tortilla/rice cake hybrid. This absence makes me grimace, like a pouting cat face.

 

 

I haven’t eaten tacos for over a year because there’s no proper way to convey that you’re hungry for tacos with emoji. Instead, I’ve been sending the curry and rice emoji, hoping my friends will mistake it for beans and rice and think of Mexican food. They never get it. I’ve eaten so much curry and rice, you guys. I want more tacos.

 

One time I tried out “cow + envelope,” but all I got was an Omaha Steak in the mail three days later. I have no idea how this happened.

 

What am I supposed to do, type “Let’s get tacos” using letters or something? Nonsense! I can only send so many hamburgers and pizza slices. Today I say “no more.” No more texting until I can get mine. Unless it’s an emergency, or I’m texting my therapist, or it’s after 2:00 AM, or it’s after 2:00 AM and I’m texting my therapist about tacos. That’ll show everyone!

 

Sincerely,

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