I grew up in a nice town and was raised to be kind and understanding. Now, as an adult, I live a simple life, one that changed forever after discovering a new, haunting reality. Last week while I waited to get a haircut, I was flipping through People when I happened upon some information that terrified me to my core: Gigi Hadid is 23 years old.
I dropped the magazine and rushed out of the salon. I couldn’t shake the anger and fear that overwhelmed me. Questions flooded through my mind: Where did I go wrong? Why is this happening to me? But the fact remained: Gigi Hadid is 23, which means that before that she was 22, and before that she was only 21.
Some people wonder why this hit me so hard. Well, I can explain: I am a 27-year-old woman who is unsure why she still has acne and messes up every cat-eye she attempts. My weight fluctuates 15 pounds in any given day. And that’s why learning that a woman with a net worth of $13 million was born in 1995 almost killed me.
I still wonder: How has she accomplished so much in so little time? How did she figure it all out, while I ate pizza bagels and fell asleep wearing pants and full makeup? How does she know how to strut so perfectly, when I didn’t realize I was making out wrong until two weeks ago?
People have tried to reassure me, saying things like, “She’s a supermodel.” To them I say, yes, I know she’s a supermodel, that’s why I’m feeling so bad right now. Friends have said, “Don’t compare yourself to her.” Wow, good idea, weird that I didn’t think of that before… I’m sorry to be sarcastic, but my reality is still literally shifting from this information. One person even dared to say, “You’re hotter,” which is really fucked up considering I am not.
It has taken a lot of work for me to be okay. I can’t say I’m fully at peace, as Gigi’s 24th birthday is just around the corner.