I’m a smart, beautiful, accomplished woman, and I like to flaunt it. There’s nothing I love more than strutting through a bar and watching the eyes follow me, or giving presentations at work with an extra wink. Compliments are what keep me motivated on the hard days, but on more than one occasion, a friend or colleague has pulled me aside and accused me of needing validation from men, but they’re wrong.
I don’t need validation from men—I need it from everyone.
Yes, I care what men think about me. I also care what women, babies, and dogs think of me. Am I pretty? Am I funny? Do they think I should talk less? I don’t care who you are—I need your validation. Just because I want men to act like they think I’m both smart and fuckable doesn’t mean they’re the only ones I want to like me. In fact, I need everyone to be rooting for me at all times.
So sue me if I giggle to get men’s attention. I need you all to tell me that I’m doing a good job. Please, tell me I’m doing a good job. Please.
Sure; I feel good about myself when men look at me. I love when they tell me I’m intelligent, pretty, and fun. You might think that’s an unhealthy way to live, but think about this. If I had my way, I’d be getting that kind of praise from every living, breathing organism on this planet. In a perfect world, all my coworkers would say, “Keep up the good work!” Even the interns who are kind of intimidated by me. Strangers would pet me and say, “Good girl.” My boyfriend would look me deep in the eyes and say, “She beauty.” All of this would affirm me and let me know that I’m on the right track. Yes, I need to know that men think I’m good and hot. But I also need to know that your aunts and grandmas think so, too.
Yes, I may be shameless toward men. But I’m also shameless toward everyone. I can’t live without your support!!!
Before you judge me and say that I’m acting out so that men will validate me, take a look at the bigger picture. You’re only half right. I do need men to tell me I’m worthwhile, but I also need everyone to do that. Including you, so please validate me now!