How Zappos Customer Service Helped Me Break Up With Ryan

You’ve probably heard by now that Zappos has absolutely the best customer service ever–but I honestly had no idea just how helpful they were until their amazing staff got together and helped me end a relationship with my boyfriend Ryan, which had gone on about four months too long, in my opinion.

 

It all started when I finally decided to splurge on a pair of Frye boots for winter–I hear they last forever, unlike my feelings for Ryan, which sputtered right around the music festival we went to this summer. Get this: Zappos had the style of boot I wanted, and in my size, and they shipped them to me overnight! But I was really disappointed when I slipped them on to discover that the calf was just a little too tight, and Ryan didn’t fully understand the concept of toxic masculinity.

 

I called customer service and was like, I love these boots, and I love you guys, but the calf is a bit too tight, and also I have fallen out of love with Ryan. Is there anything I can do?

 

The customer service rep, Anita, was just absolutely too nice about it. She was like, “Did you know that Frye has a special collection of wide-calf boots? Or that letting go of Ryan will be difficult, but also necessary if you want to be free and live your life?”

 

Within minutes, Anita had special ordered a pair of wide-calf, equestrian-inspired Frye boots in classic black, which she also said would help me heal emotionally after moving on. But it didn’t end there: she told me exactly what to text Ryan so that he’d clearly get the message that things were over, without getting too hurt, and without leaving him an opening to return.

 

Yes, Zappos has an amaaaaazing customer service policy, but they can also explain to Ryan that the heart wants what the heart wants, and this heart no longer wants Ryan and his toxic behavior.

 

I told Anita that texting him was hard, because even though we weren’t right for each other, he still meant something to me. Seconds later, I heard a knock on my door: I had never seen this woman in my life, and I had no idea how she had gotten here so fast.

 

“Give me your phone,” she said. “I’ll text him if you can’t.”

 

Also, she had the wide-calf Frye boots in a box in her arms! They were exactly right!

 

I asked Anita how she knew where I lived and she said, “We’re Zappos. We know everything! Also, I guessed it was the same as your billing address.”

 

 

Within just a few minutes of texting, Anita deftly ended everything with Ryan, and even gotten me out of a coffee date where Ryan wanted to rehash everything and inevitably beg me to stay. She also, in a totally unrelated text conversation, told my friend Carly that I felt like things really hadn’t been the same since she moved across the city, and that we should both try harder to keep in touch. I had been meaning to do that for months!

 

“I invited Carly to Bon Iver concert that you were going to take Ryan to,” Anita said, while checking the toe box of my boot to make sure they were the right size. “I think it will be the perfect way for you to reconnect with your old friend, have a girls’ night to forget about your break-up, and break in your new kicks!”

 

Then she disappeared in a puff of smoke.

 

Wow, Zappos. I am so impressed! Until I am out of personal problems, I won’t shop for shoes anywhere else.

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