How to Tease Your Man By Wrapping Your Boobs in Bacon and Then Bullying Him Until The End of Time

Teasing a man turns him on and can be really sexy for you too. Next time you want to get him hot and bothered, find some meat and strap it to your breasts. He’ll get hard, and that’s when you can start doing the other kind of teasing—the one where you hurl thousands of insults at him. Here is how to tease your man by wrapping your boobs in crispy bacon, and then bullying him until the end of time, the classic sexy trick we all know and love!

 

Send A Sext

Send him a sext to get him all riled up. His dick will be rock hard because he’ll want you, but he can’t have you. Mention the maple-glazed bacon you bought earlier and how you want to cook it then wrap it around your boobs. When he tells you that’s hot (which he will because it is, obviously), it’s time to hit him with the second kind of teasing. Rip him to shreds with texts like, “You’re a loser”, “You have no friends” and “Are you gonna cry?” And no matter what happens, don’t stop until the end of time! You are a tease! This is what men want!

 

Put on A Strip Show

Stripping is hot and will get him excited to see you fully naked later on in the evening. Have dinner together, then put on a sexy tune. Take your clothes off slowly and deliberately, then reveal the bra you fashioned out of pancetta. He won’t be able to stop himself from taking a bite out of you. All men love a salty meat! Then, because you’re basically just a bully in animal flesh pasties, slap him across the face and don’t stop, ever. Way to tease, you scary freak!

 

 

Make Out in the Middle of the Night

Wake your dude up in the middle of the night and without saying anything, start kissing him. He’ll be excited to be woken up for such a naughty activity, and you’ll be able to shove your turkey bacon tits in his face. He’ll love the meat boobs (typical man!) and then he’ll love you screaming, “No one would care if you died, you stupid idiot!” Nonetheless, you must tease him until you’re both dead. Yummy, but also frightening!

 

Use these three ways to tease your guy by wrapping your breasts in pork, and then also harassing him forever. If you’re nervous to try any of these on your man, just remember every guy loves to be teased! You’re in charge now, so grab some cured meat slabs and slap ‘em on your boobs, you bully! Honestly this is a man’s dream!!!

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