All you moms out there remember how tough it was to be a teenager. Your body’s changing, your hormones are going haywire, and soon enough you’ll be faced with that infamous milestone we all pass on our road to womanhood: your first pregnancy scare.
Broaching the subject with your daughter can be difficult, so try to make her feel as comfortable as possible. Remind her that this is a normal step on the road to becoming a woman, and that all of her friends are going through it, too. Heck, you went through it when you were a lot younger than she is! When you start the conversation about her potential unintended pregnancy, make sure you stress three things: It’s normal, it’s healthy, and it’s entirely unavoidable.
Every woman’s first time is different, and can come as early as age 8 or as late as 17. She shouldn’t worry if her friends are having unprotected sex sooner or later than she is – she’ll start raw-dogging in unsupervised households in her own time.
Explain that her first few late periods may be fairly sporadic, and that it’s normal and doesn’t count as a full-on pregnancy scare. Until then, she needs to make sure that she’s always prepared. Give her her own ladylike zipper bag full of essentials such as an off-brand EPT, a bottle of Coke for a desperate and ineffective at-home douche, and any expired Plan B pills you have lying around. The idea is to make her feel excited about joining the ranks of panicked women the world over.
When she asks questions like “Will it hurt?” or “What if I’m at school?” or “What about the condoms I used?” gently reassure her that she’ll be just fine, she can always go to the nurse when she realizes she’s probably pregnant. Remember: you were young once, too!
If you’re still not sure you can get through the whole awkward talk on your own, there are several educational filmstrips about a girl’s first pregnancy scare that you can show your daughter. Though a little dated, we highly recommend the 1970’s classics, “Your Double-Line Pregnancy Test,” “Molly’s Fatter Now,” and “Staying With Grandma for a Few Months.” These short videos impart everything she needs to know about being an unwitting human incubator with remarkable gentleness and compassion.
The first pregnancy scare is a sacred rite of passage and a beautiful turning point in a young woman’s life. It should be celebrated, so don’t be afraid to treat your little girl to a glass of vino – she’s a woman now, after all! Within a decade or two, she’ll be going through the same experience with her own daughter, completing the magical, menstrual cycle of life.