How to Talk At Parties When You’d Rather Be Silent and Full of Pierogis

Parties should be a place where you go with friends to be like, “Haha” or “Yay!” together, but sometimes they’re filled with strangers who make you think, “I wish I could put 12,000 pierogies inside my body and be quiet at my house.” It’s okay to feel this way! However, it’s also important to face your fears. Here’s how to talk at parties when you’d rather be silent and full of pierogies.

 

Open your mouth, but not to put a pierogi in.

If you’re scared of talking to strangers, start small by simply opening your mouth, but not to put a pierogi in. Open it to say something like, “Hello!” or to introduce yourself. Once you’ve already forced yourself to speak instead of silently filling yourself with pierogies, it should be easy to go from there. After all, 90% of a conversation is just unhinging your jaw to let words go out instead of pierogies going in.

 

Ask questions that aren’t, “Is there a pierogi here?”

Now that you’ve started a conversation, keep it going by asking questions that aren’t, “Is there a pierogi here?” Though it may be your nature, resist the urge to find where pierogies are and eat them in silence. You must continue conversing, and the best way to do so is by being curious. Ask lots of questions about where the other person is from and what they like. Who knows? Maybe they will end up liking pierogies! Maybe they will know where the pierogis are after all! You never know what you may have in common with someone until you make the effort.

 

Move around a ton.

Parties are scary because you are technically being trapped in an enclosed space and forced to socialize without access to pierogies, so move around a ton. Moving from group to group ensures you only talk for short bursts of time, which means you get less tired from not being able to sit in silence holding a bowl of Ukrainian dumplings. Move around as much as you need to take your mind off how pierogies can have so many different fillings, like caramelized onion, basil and plain potato. If your mind starts to drift, just move to the next conversation and say something like, “haha the weather, okay?”

 

 

Share things aside from liking pierogies.

Conversations are more than just movement plus asking questions. They’re also about sharing things aside from liking pierogies! No matter how much you would prefer quietly eating a hearty snack, offer information about yourself, such as facts or opinions you hold that might be interesting. This will help people get to know you, which is like the emotional equivalent of silent pierogi eating. You’re doing a great job so far!

 

Talking at parties can be tough, especially when you’d rather be noiselessly dipping 100 pierogies into sour cream and apple sauce. But if you follow this guide, it can be done!

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