How to Support Women Without Encouraging This Small Irish Village’s Banshee

Having a strong support system amongst fellow women is imperative to furthering feminist ideals, but what about the women who only scream about death because they are the one banshee in this small Irish village? When we met this Banshee hiding in the woods outside a town in the west of Ireland, we were disappointed to find she had nothing good to add to the discussion of what makes women great. Here are some tips on how to create a healthy bond with all women except this one banshee who complicates feminism even more than Sinead O’Connor.

 

Drop All Contact with Blood Relatives

The Cry of the Banshee only wails for the impending death of family member, so if you don’t have any “real” family anymore, her bitchiness is deemed powerless. You’re also strengthening your relationships with other women and most likely severing ties with toxic family members, so it’s truly a win-win!

 

Find YOUR Individual Shrill…and Own It!

Just because her voice can shatter glass doesn’t mean it’s shattering the glass ceiling! Women’s voices have long been called shrill just because they have passion behind them. Long gone are the days when “shrill” was just her thing. We’re all embracing it, and doing it without stealing someone’s soul for attention. Get out of here, banshee! It’s our time now!

 

Get Really Into Siouxsie and the Banshees

Not to be mean, but this particular Banshee isn’t even that special. She lives in rural Ireland, after all. Hello! That’s not New York City. Check her ego by making sure all the pubs carry an offensively large supply of Siouxsie and the Banshees on the jukebox just to remind her that she’s not the most popular Banshee in the universe. She’s not even the most popular banshee on the west coast of Ireland!

 

 

Never Die!

If you never die, she has no impact on your life or those close to you! She only comes around to wail at the end of people’s lives, which is obnoxious, pedestrian and antifeminist. Similar to how you avoid the worst of negative female stereotypes by never going into Forever 21 dressing rooms, the best way to avoid the Cry of the Banshee is to manifest to yourself that you will never pass away. Do what your iPhone case tells you and dream the impossible!

 

As they say in Ireland, may the road rise up to meet you, and as the Banshee says when she’s drunk and feeling extra deathy, “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGH!” She’s too loud to take to brunch, and it’s not like she’s wailing at the death of reproductive rights or your toxic relationships, either! Slán!

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