Being at work can be so tedious and boring. But, you got some D last night, and it had been awhile, so it’s only right for you to subtly flaunt that fact to spice up the otherwise humdrum workday. Of course, you can’t openly tell the people you work with about your sex life, because that would be unprofessional and super inappropriate, so here’s how to sigh to let your coworkers know you got railed hard last night.
This sigh is deep and breathy, and when everyone whips their head around to see who made that guttural noise in a professional environment, they’ll see you stretched out, your head resting on the back of your chair and your eyes closed. Immediately, they’ll know exactly what you did last night: got railed so hard that you literally can’t help but let out an airy bellow. Shoutout to getting it in!
High, Sexy Sigh
We all know it and love it: the high sexy sigh. This is the sigh a sexy librarian does in a teenage boy’s fantasy or the sigh you do to your office of middle-aged quiet people trying to make sales calls. Sure, it’s super unchill that you’re making a sexual sound at work, but everyone needs to know Jeff was the bang of a lifetime and you’re still on cloud fucking nine!
If you’re exhausted, it either means you stayed up watching dumb tv for no reason, or you were up riding that dong all the way to Cum Town. So next time you’re at work after a night of the nastiest sex of your life, just make a big yawn noise. It will distract everyone, you might get some dirty looks, but don’t worry. Everyone is just jealous you got bonked!
‘I Just Remembered Something Crazy’ Sigh
After sexy times, flashbacks to the dirtiest parts are inevitable. So next time you’re supposed to be training the new intern but instead remember Ben’s fingers doing that crazy shit, just squeal then sigh as if to say, “Wowwwww I forgot he did that crazy thing to my freaking butthole.” Wow, you’re a sex girl, and your whole office should know, even if you barely know their first names!
Try out these four sighs next time you want to make sure everyone around the water cooler is talking about you and your bonefest last night. And if you do get fired, don’t worry! You can use these sighs at any job to indicate you got the pounding of a lifetime!!