So, your friend just told you that she’s pregnant. That’s amazing! Or is it? You can’t tell, because she’s at that age where a pregnancy could be either an unexpected blessing or a devastating life setback. What do you do? Here’s how to respond tactfully when your mid-twenties friend tells you she’s knocked up and you’re not sure whether that’s a good thing or not.
Say, “Oh my God”
If she breaks the news of her impending motherhood via text, responding with an “omg” (with no punctuation, very important) is a great way to express your feelings about her pregnancy while maintaining the illusion that you totally know whether you should be happy for her or not. By responding with an inoffensive and open-ended exclamation, you give her the space to fill in the blank. If she answers with “I know, right? I’m so excited to be a mom,” you can move forward with the knowledge that you should be congratulatory in your further reactions. If she answers with “I know, right? I’m so upset,” then you can proceed knowing that you should act with sympathy in any further response. If she just says, “I know right,” and nothing else then oof, maybe just like never respond and throw your phone in the trash?
Take her out to dinner.
If you’re someone who prefers actions over words, try taking your friend out for a meal! Buying her dinner is a very neutral way to respond to the news of her bun in the oven. If she makes it clear that she’s thrilled about her baby bump, congratulate her enthusiastically and buy her dessert to celebrate! If she seems way less-than-excited, buy her something with melted cheese on it and encourage her to eat her feelings as a way to cope! Aw, you’re such a good friend!
Have a movie night.
Invite her over for some pizza and a film! Let your friend pick the movie, and read into what she chooses to figure out her feelings on being in the family way. Did she suggest What To Expect When You’re Expecting? Get ready to accompany her on a trip to Baby GAP! Did she opt for Obvious Child? Get ready to support her on a trip to Planned Parenthood! You go girl! You’re like a walking Buzzfeed quiz where the only question is: Are you happy you’re pregnant?
Bury yourself in a hole for 9 months.
If worst comes to worst, and you have no reasonable way of discreetly investigating your friend’s emotions, your best bet might be to just disappear for the duration of the average pregnancy. Bury yourself in a comfortable hole for around 40 weeks! By the time you come out, you’ll either have a glowing new-mom friend and a tiny baby to play with or a childless friend who is both very relieved to no longer be pregnant and very confused as to where you’ve been for the better part of a year. Either way, your friend got what she wanted and you’ve avoided the sticky situation of trying to figure out whether she was glad to be preggers or not! You did it, damn it!
Sussing out what a surprise pregnancy means to your mid-twenties friend can be tricky. Try using one of these methods to respond with tact when your pal tells you she’s knocked up! Whatever you do, just don’t ask your friend how she feels. Lol that would be insane!