So you thought this was a date, but a guy has just called you “dude.” Try not to panic at his confusing gesture of bro-like camaraderie, and instead use this opportunity to emerge like a decidedly feminine phoenix that he might still find romantically viable in the future. No matter the circumstances, here’s how to go the distance even after he calls you “dude.”
Be Progressive and Accept It as Gender Neutral
So, the guy you have a crush on answered your “Hi :)” text with “hey dude.” Don’t despair quite yet! “Dude” is definitely gender-neutral and the internet has reassurance (on page four). Oh, look, “dude” is the “universal pronoun” and the “California hello.” Sometimes, it’s even used as an exclamation, as in “Dude! That’s so cool. Would you like to have sex later?” That’s almost certainly what Greg meant, and not just “one of his girl bros.”
Take A Flower Crown And/Or Dog Selfie And Send It His Way
In the olden days, women recovered from the cute guy they just met on the train saying “totally, dude” by giving themselves an expensive makeover set to New Wave pop. In the age of Snapchat, you can just use a flattering filter and caption it something subtle, like “I AM GIRL.” Push through this!
Put Mariah Carey’s “Obsessed” Video On Repeat
In dark times like these, when your friend’s boyfriend saw you at a party and shouted “My dude!,” you need to overwhelm your senses with femininity, using lip gloss, shiny legs, Beyoncé, and bouncing hair to erase that cursed word from your vocabulary. Use the example of women who have never been called “dude” in their entire lives to inspire and guide you through this. You’re gonna make it through!
Tell Yourself, “I’m Glad He Feels Comfortable With Me” 300 Times
Sure, it stung when he introduced you to his friends by saying “this is my dude, Stacey,” but isn’t it kind of awesome that he sees you as a companion (who just happens to be a girl who loves him)? Look into the mirror and focus on the good in the situation: He doesn’t see you as a beautiful, unapproachable ice queen. That’s good, right? See what happens!
DO NOT Ask Your Hot Friends If They Ever Get “Dude”-Ed
There is a 9/10 chance that this will not have the reassuring effect you were looking for. Deal with this shit on your own.
Being called “dude” can feel like a huge blow but this is your chance to bounce back and return stronger and more adorable than ever. Or you could always retreat to the cave where women like us dwell. You’re welcome here, dude!