How to Put All Your Eggs Into One Sad, Chain-Smoking Basket

When you meet someone you really like, it is important to invest in that new relationship to really let it flourish. You’re never going to get a feel for a serious relationship if you have one foot out the door, so it’s time to give all your energy to a guy who is addicted to cigarettes, and always will be no matter how hard to try to change him! Here’s how to put all your emotional eggs in this one sad, chain-smoking basket.


Spend All Your Time With Him

If you’re looking to abandon all your commitments and invest solely in this dark and mysterious dude who smokes, now’s the time to let down your guard and let your entire future depend on him, even though the only thing you can count on is that he’ll tear through two packs today. This shouldn’t be too hard, even though he only says sad things, reads sad books and smokes like a depressed chimney. Oh well, he’s your sad basket and he isn’t going anywhere!


Forget Your Friends

You chose to make this guy your life, and friends are only a distraction from giving energy to your sad boy. Tell them you’re busy for basically the rest of your life, because you’ve made your choice. They can totally come to the wedding, but he won’t be there because he’ll be outside smoking. Are you ready to take care of him when he has emphasyma in his old age? Of course you are – this guy is the one!



Leave Your Job

Why have a career when you could pour all your energy into this adorable and cool basket of a boy? Quit your job and eat frozen pizza while hugging your sad boyfriend until you both die a cool early death. Also, we’re talking about your literal reproductive eggs now because this shit is serious. Light another cig and settle into it!


If you’re finally looking to commit to the chimney-man in your life, follow these tips to put your eggs in one, clinically depressed, nicotine-addicted basket. And if your boyfriend is nice and positive, you are doing something wrong! Sorry!


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