Flirting is hard! It can be especially difficult when you’re trying to send a guy signals, but instead you’re staring at him silently, thinking about his peen. Here are some simple ways to get his attention without straight up texting him the link to this article and saying, “HERE.”
Show Interest in Him
Starting a conversation is a great step toward indicating that you’re interested in a guy’s weiner. So chat him up! And if you’re not great at speaking to him because your insides are screaming, try to hide that. You can also forgo the entire process by pulling out your phone and showing him this article, then be like, “Haha, isn’t it funny? I didn’t show you for any reason, I just thought it was funny…” He’ll really want to give you his peen once he witnesses this act of subtlety!
Facebook Message Him Later
Nothing says, “I want your hog,” like facebook messaging someone out of nowhere. Try to reference something that you guys talked about earlier in your message. Did he say the word “dog” at any point? Send him a video of a dog trying to drink wine. If he doesn’t get the hint, copy and paste the link for this article straight into his DMs. Then send three winky faces. Then be like, “This website is dragging me!” Hopefully he will respond, “@ me next time!” Then wait one minute and say, “Oops, I meant to send that to someone else!” This classically straightforward move works every time!
Like His Posts
Since flirting in person is nearly impossible, try to make more of an effort from the safety of your own phone. Like his new picture that he looks hot in, or if you’re feeling brave, like an older (but not too old) photo where he had his shirt off and was doing a flip into a lake. He will love the attention and will totally get the hint. But if you’re impatient for him to get it, try making a facebook live video where you just read this article aloud and throw his name into it. For example, say something like, “Dear, [Insert Mr. Weiner-Haver’s Name,] I’m interested in having your weiner.” That should do the trick!
If none of this is clear enough for him, try telling him you want to do a fuck. Most men are pretty receptive to that. The easiest way to tell him is to tag him in the comments on this article. I mean, you could also tell him in person, but that’s a nightmare. What are you gonna do, go to his door, ring the bell and sing, “Ding dong, I want your ding dong!” Actually, that might work, Pretty much anything will work.
So next time you’re down to fuck, but not down to put yourself out there, try some of these tips. Or just post this article on his wall, because that would take so much less time. And by the way, if you’re a man reading this article, congratulations, the girl that sent this to you wants to fuck you! You better give it to her good.