How To Make a Man-Friendly ‪#‎YesAllWomen Post

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Many women have been taking to social media to share their experiences of harassment this week, but few women take the time before posting to consider, “Am I alienating men?”

 

These tips can help you to create a man-friendly post that addresses your feelings and experiences about rape, harassment, feminism, and women’s safety, while letting the men know that you’re not holding them personally accountable, still think most men are great, and believe they too deserve rights.

 

1. Immediately follow with #NotAllMen.

You can’t use this hashtag enough. Use it to make sure that the sensitive men in your life don’t feel personally implicated when you address the harassment of women. It doesn’t help anyone to force those men to reflect on their past interactions with women, so when you reference #YesAllWomen, make sure it’s clear that you are referring to only that small handful of men who the over one million Twitter posts are referring to.

 

2. Mention that “I am in favor of respect and equality for EVERYONE, men and women.”

This is a phrase you’ll want to reiterate. If you aren’t explicit about it, how will anyone know that you DON’T want to strip away the rights of every man and boy until we create an oppressive matriarchy bent on creating a new world order where men are treated like vermin and only released from their jail cells to mate? If you don’t highlight your focus on men’s equality, people could easily jump to conclusions.

 

 

3. Consider including a selfie.

Flattering selfies are a great opportunity to show that you aren’t some angry Feminazi who hates men. Rather you are perfectly happy to appeal to their innocent urge to objectify you in a respectful way.

 

A selfie of your lovely smiling face will take the sting out of any potential hurt feelings over your personal accounts of harassment!

 

4. Follow up with some Pro-Man tweets.

No matter how carefully you word your post, it’s always possible that your declaration of support for the victims of harassment might have been misconstrued as a harpy’s battle cry in the war against men, so it’s a good idea to post some pro-man tweets, thanking them for their good and honorable behavior. Every time the men in your life do something that is not actively harassing you, it’s cause for applause! Use social media to praise the sensitive men that you are lucky to have in your life!

 

Above all, remember: men are sensitive and deserve to be protected from anything potentially insulting or threatening. The thought that they could have done anything differently to ease the daily harassment that women face is very painful to them, and should not factor into the #YesAllWomen discussion.

COMMENTS

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  • Miles

    Oh good I’m glad you don’t hate men

  • http://vintageandvice.tumblr.com/ VintageandVice

    OMG… LOVE this.

  • GreenEyedLilo

    Absolutely hilarious! Thank you for the laugh–it’s needed.

  • rollingstone

    Rock on.

  • EveTL

    ugh

  • Matthew P

    Not all men? Borrowing from a post I’ve seen elsewhere, by that logic Russian Roulette is a perfectly safe game to play. Sure, one of the chambers has a bullet in it, but not all chambers do. Instead of encouraging women to be friendlier and more sensitive to the frail egos of men, perhaps suggest to men that they learn how to take a hit without crying to their guns and/or libido.

    • eyebeam
    • Cibouwat Horsifomidom

      Life hasn’t exactly been a perfectly safe game to play for men for a while, either.

      • Simeon Morris

        *Slaps head repeatedly*

        Jeez, you REALLY didn’t get this post did you?!

    • Overand

      As you seem top have missed, this post is a JOKE. It is, in fact, making the EXACT SAME POINT that you are.

  • librarygrrl64

    Marry me.

  • LittleBigBot

    Whew, for a minute there, I was worried I was going to have to do some self reflection. #NotAllMen

  • BruceMcGlory

    I love this post so hard I think I pulled a muscle.

  • Jim Fath

    This entirely black and white #YesAllWomen masthead needs some grey in it.

    • Simeon Morris

      Really? What kind of grey? Are you suggesting perhaps that when a woman is harassed, assaulted, looked down on, passed over, mistreated, insulted or discriminated against, that she should actually look to the ‘grey’ area of this? Maybe her experience is all in her head? After all, maybe the guy didn’t mean to do any of those things, he was just socially programmed to do them, so, like, it’s not really his fault, and in any case, offence is in the eye of the beholder, so, like, she should maybe just get over it? Right? Is that the grey you mean? Or do you perhaps mean that men are also the victim of assault, harassment, rape threats, etc.

      Guess what, as a man, i’ve been sexually assaulted, by other men. It happened a long time again, when I hitch hiked around the south of France. Not a nice experience. However, when I walk down the street, I don’t get cat called, or harassed EVER, except may the odd teenager makes a comment on how I dress, but that is rare.

      Might I suggest you speak to some of your female friends about their street/dating/sexual experiences? I think you might be shocked. I’ve lost count of the number of my female friends who have been assaulted/raped/harassed/abused for turning down men/groped/felt up/ and just plain made to feel uncomfortable in public spaces.

      Yes, not all men are bad, yes, men can be victims, and yes, life it also tough for men, but SERIOUSLY let other people, who have shitty experiences that you CANNOT fathom have their voice without getting in their bloody way!

      • Jim Fath

        The grey area meaning the scenarios where things aren’t always 100% clear. Particularly to young men that are naive when dealing with the opposite sex. Either by societal norms or straight out lack of information. I’m simply advocating for more of that discussion because I think that’s one of the biggest obstacles. That’s all. There is a lot of absolutism going around in some of the tweets and it’s not entirely on point. Not all tweets. Of course I’m not suggesting that women should pipe down about their experiences with harassment and assault. My one sentence OP probably seemed flippant. Sorry.

        • Simeon Morris

          I’m pretty sure that victims of assault/rape/abuse don’t need to be told what they should be talking about. Absolutism is part of the sliding scale. Black and white are found at either end of the spectrum, and they DO have a place in discussion, as does the grey. In this case, I’m content to sit back, listen, try to empathise and trust that when a woman tell’s her anecdote she is in a better position to decide on how to present it. Nowhere in these tweets are women asking for advice on how to discuss their experiences and on whether they should be more ‘nuanced’, and as I’m sure you’d agree, un-asked for ‘advice’ can be pretty annoying and at times as well as invalidating.

          In the case of someones experience of abuse/harassment, etc I’d say it’s often 100% clear on what happened to them, wouldn’t you?

          • Jim Fath

            “I’m pretty sure that victims of assault/rape/abuse don’t need to be told what they should be talking about.” yeah, nevermind. That’s not what I said and what you say you are hearing is very telling. Cheers, mate

          • Simeon Morris

            “This entirely black and white #YesAllWomen masthead needs some grey in it.”

            Um, it actually IS what you said. Apparently, these women need you to point out how they should be talking about THEIR experiences. Seriously ‘mate’ don’t deny what you JUST wrote, that is above for everyone to read.

            Not really sure what is ‘telling’ about my post, so perhaps you will tell me?

          • Jim Fath

            You’re saying “You’re telling woman what they SHOULD be talking about” and what I meant by that “grey” thing was that I hope this opens doors to all the muck in the grey middle where dudes might think what they are doing and how they are behaving is above the board and it’s not or it’s misinterpreted or misdirected or a slew of other slippery discussions so people make larger considerations. That’s all I meant. I’m shocked and horrified at what’s been discussed and what’s been withheld and brought to light by personal friends. I’d never wag my finger at any of that. I want the obvious wrongs to help with the not so obvious wrongs. I think we’re both after the same thing. A more society more considerate to the needs of women.

          • Jim Fath

            The internet is tone def and I’m writing this at work so I might not be painting the clearest picture.

          • Jim Fath

            You’re saying “You’re telling woman what they SHOULD be talking about” and what I meant by that “grey” thing was that I hope this opens doors to all the muck in the grey middle where dudes might think what they are doing and how they are behaving is above the board and it’s not or it’s misinterpreted or misdirected or a slew of other slippery discussions so people make larger considerations. That’s all I meant. I’m shocked and horrified at what’s been discussed and what’s been withheld and brought to light by personal friends. I’d never wag my finger at any of that. I want the obvious wrongs to help with the not so obvious wrongs. I think we’re both after the same thing. A more society more considerate to the needs of women.

          • Simeon Morris

            If that’s the case, then my apologies for being a bit hard on you. However, your original statement, considering the internet is tone deaf, carry’s very little of your final sentiment, and can easily come across as another man, criticising the way in which women talk about their experiences. I hope you can see that.

            Anyway, have a good day.

  • Cibouwat Horsifomidom

    So, let me attempt to summarize. In society, sad, bitter men (a.k.a. “so-called nice guys”) are treated differently than their bitter female counterparts (a.k.a. “amazing beautiful women who are only venting because they’re hurting”) for no other apparent reason than their gender (there’s their supposed “entitlement” — the relative numbers of suicides and homeless is cited as evidence of entitlement rather than pain). Then this recent attempt is made to make them (and all men) again feel guilty by association with a lunatic misogynist (and clearly misanthropic, from his manifesto) mass murderer. When that hurtful crap is met with objection, these men are told told their personal shame and guilt is appropriate, and there’s something wrong with them if they don’t feel it. That we shouldn’t feel guilty as a society; that men should feel *extra* guilty because they’re men. That men (no “some” qualifier here) ” could have done [something] differently to ease the daily harassment that women face.” Their feelings of hurt by the association are dismissed with the exact same kind of sarcasm and indifference than the expressions of any feelings of emotional pain are met with in real life — the latter supposedly caused by the “patriarchy,” but here coming directly from apparent feminists.

    • Simeon Morris

      No one is telling you that your shame and guilt are inappropriate. No one is saying you should feel extra guilty because you are a man. This hash tag is about women’s experiences. It actually ISN’T about your experiences, nor your feelings. You’re a grown adult. If you feel shame or guilt for being part of a sex that benefits from a privileged position then that’s fine. Sorry you feel bad, but you know, you could get involved and actually try to change something. How about you start a blog about male victims of abuse? That way, you can have your space, to talk passionately about things that matter (this really does matter) and you can avoid coming to someone else’s blog and trying to steam roller over THEIR experiences with your notallmen nonsense. I think they get it, that not all men are like this. But does that mean their experiences are somehow invalid, and they should constantly have to mitigate YOUR fragile emotions?

      Did you even GET tho OP’s point above?

      • Cibouwat Horsifomidom

        You could have just said, “just man up, and shut up.”

        • Simeon Morris

          I don’t think you should ‘Man up’ whatever that means. Shutting up? Maybe. Listen and learn? Definitely!

    • Jan Yavuz

      tl;dr

  • http://mkhajdin.jux.com/ M. K. Hajdin

    #3 – only if you’re beautiful. Men don’t like to see ugly female “selfies”.

  • http://mkhajdin.jux.com/ M. K. Hajdin

    P.S. I am loving these comments. The exact opposite of what happens when comments are predominantly male.

  • justsomebody

    “Every time the men in your life do something that is not actively harassing you, it’s cause for applause! ”
    This shouldn’t be the case though…. Coming from a guy.

  • Liadan

    This has to be a joke.

    • Anna Wilson

      Psst! It’s the Reductress, it’s satire! All of it!

  • Robin Webster

    It’s what passes for feminist ‘humour’. Like the rest of the sarcastic cr*p on this site, it only goes to show that some feminists have got very little else to do but create offensive fantasies that are often just as insulting to women as they are to men.