So you’re see a guy who’s sort of funny but mostly models his humor on Adam Sandler in You Don’t Mess with the Zohan. That’s really unfortunate! If you find yourself juggling the whirlwind of emotions that comes with a heavy flow day and trying not to reveal that he’s not as funny as the movies he never stops quoting, here are some easy tips that are sure to protect his dignity while sacrificing your own by slightly squeezing your tampon out of you.
A Series of Identical Chuckles
Much like the commonly faked orgasm, feigning laughter can be exhausting. Commit to one simple sound of bemusement that sounds natural but won’t wear you out every time he needs to shout “BAZINGA!” You haven’t been able to take a bathroom break because he never stops talking, so your lady cork will be full and mimicking a prairie dog attempting to venture from its tunnel. That’s how you know you’re doing it right!
One Solid Guffaw
Get it done all in one go with a hearty howl that’s sure to keep up the facade that his “That’s what she said!” jokes are downright original and hilarious. This will buy you some time before you have to pay attention to another one of his bits. Do it right and you’ll push that Tampax Pearl out of your hoo-ha before he can get into this theory about how women aren’t funny.
Add A Cute Snort
Nothing lets a guy know his idea for a viral YouTube video really hits comedy gold than with a snort. You’re really making it feel like he’s got you under his comedy spell, even if it’s at the expense of your clothing and comfort.
And Maybe An Accidental Fart
Periods are gassy days as is, so let out a toot that’ll make him feel like his Woody Allen impression makes people lose control of all bodily functions. Good thing he also thinks farts are funny! Too bad periods are not, and he would know. He’s the proud owner of every Will Ferrell DVD.
Tampons, much like his jokes, are disposable and easy to forget, just another one of the average struggles that come with being a woman. You may be telling yourself this is the last time you play along with his stupid bits, but you’ve said the same thing about finally committing to a Diva Cup. Keep pretending everything’s fine, because letting a guy know you’re on your period is way ruder than not finding him brilliant at everything he does.