How to Impress Your Boyfriend’s Mother When His Cum Is Still Inside You

Image by © JGI/Tom Grill/Blend Images/Corbis

The holidays can be a stressful time for new relationships, especially when you’re meeting your man’s family for the first time. You want to be funny and likable and warm because your boyfriend’s cum is still inside you. Here’s how to impress your boyfriend’s mother when you’re full of her son’s semen.

 

Sit Down

Sitting down immediately will help you look breezy and dignified when you meet your boyfriend’s mom. Plus, it will help lock your boyfriend’s jizz in so it doesn’t run down your leg like it always does. Make sure to cross your legs because you’re an impressive lady who, as far as Mrs. McLaughlin knows, did not get rammed by her one and only son sixteen minutes ago. Nope, nothing to see here! You’re just a normal, graceful young woman who is making a great first impression. Just be careful when you stand up, so that gravity doesn’t pull the pool of cum right onto the floor.

 

Wear a Classy Hat

Eyes up, Mrs. McLaughlin! Keep your boyfriend’s mom’s gaze away from any potential problem spots with the gorgeous spectacle of a classy hat. She’ll be too busy looking at your hat and thinking, “Wow, my son’s girlfriend sure is elegant” to notice your clothes look a tad too disheveled and wonder, “Is my son’s cum still inside this woman?” An alternative is to wear a bold hat—if it’s loud enough, she won’t be able to hear the squelch of his sploonk still inside you. Remember: You’re protecting her!

 

Look Comfortable, Like You Aren’t Full of Cum

Try not to project that anything is unusual, like the fact that a superhuman-sized gob was thrust into you just moments ago. If you seem timid or anxious, she’s going to wonder, “Did my son just fill this nice girl with his semen?”

 

 

Don’t Fucking Touch Him

Keep at least eight inches of space between you and your boyfriend at all times when you’re in the presence of his mother. That way, Mrs. McLaughlin won’t suspect that you’re a semen receptacle who has not yet been emptied. You’ll appear poised and respectful, even virginal, which is ideal since you recently rasped, “FILL ME UP” into your boyfriend’s ear. By staying away from your boyfriend, you’ll keep your lustful ways hidden.

 

With these simple tips, you can impress your boyfriend’s mother even when your cooch is overflowing with his cum. And if she does somehow realize, don’t worry—just scream and run off a cliff, because you will never come back from that.

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