It may be cold outside right now, but bikini season is only a few months away! This is the year you’ve finally decided to get in shape – but you don’t have to lift a finger or eat any differently, because getting in shape is all in your head! Here’s a few great self-psychology tips to convince yourself you’re getting ready for the beach, even when you’re not:
Visualize a healthier snack.
Open a jar of Nutella. Add peanut butter and stir, then eat with large soup spoon. Now close your eyes and imagine that you’re eating celery instead. Then visualize being able to fit into the bikini you saw on that size zero mannequin in Macy’s last week, because of all the low-calorie fiber you’re mentally eating. Mmm, this celery tastes delicious, like peanut butter and Nutella and being skinny
Go for a mental jog.
Put on your favorite gym clothes. Lace up your running sneakers. Then lie down and flip through an old Elle magazine while imagining yourself running on a treadmill instead of the position you’re actually in, which is lying on your stomach on your bed with a bowl of M&Ms at your side. Don’t distract yourself by worrying about all that sugar. When you focus on feeling in shape, you basically are in shape, in your mind.
Mentally remove your own head and place it on a hotter body.
Browse the fitness magazines at Barnes & Noble and find a woman with the perfect gym body. Now close one eye and squint. Imagine your head on that body. It almost looks like it’s you, so it might as well be! Besides, what is real, and what is imaginary? Are we even alive now, or are we dead and only become “born” once we die? Who’s to say? Your soul essence looks great in a bikini!
Get the right gear.
Buy a pair of FitFlops – the flip flop that gets you fit without having to go to the gym! Bring them home, put them under your bed, and see what’s on Netflix. Catch up on House of Cards while admiring Robin Wright’s body. That could be your body. Maybe it is. Who is Robin Wright, anyway? Is she you? Aren’t we all just one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively? Those FitFlops are getting you results already!
Run from your ex.
Lie down and close your eyes. Imagine yourself running on a beach, looking great in a bikini. Wait, who’s that up near the beach house? Your ex? He looks at you admiringly. You wave at him and keep running. You don’t need him. Your body looks great. Open your eyes. Reach for the potato chip bowl. It’s empty. Sigh. The kitchen is so far away, so pretend like you’re jogging in slow motion when you go back to the Lay’s bag.
A sexy outlook is far more attractive than a sexy body. Show them how good you think you look!