Just because you’ve been too sad about your breakup to take care of yourself doesn’t mean you have to neglect your phone, too. Here’s how to clean your grimy phone screen without smudging it or accidentally liking your ex-boyfriend John’s picture on Instagram because that would be way, way worse than a dirty screen.
Prepackaged Screen Wipes
Moistened tech towelettes are easy to use because they are to fit in your pocket or purse. Just as you’re realizing your screen is too dirty to see that girl’s face in John’s Instagram photo, take a wipe, rub it in circles on your screen, and HOLY SHIT, you just accidentally liked the photo. Fuck!
Spit and Swipe
It’s not perfect, but a little spit won’t leave any grimy trails or fingerprints on your screen. Make sure your phone is locked, give it a quick spit, and swipe that screen across the back pocket of your pants. You have… buttstagramed. You fucking buttstagramed a photo of your cat and liked John’s photo with his new “girlfriend” with your ass.
This screen clean machine is pristine! Get that old and weathered flannel that once fit perfectly over John’s strong, tight chest, and—oh my god! You’re totally already wearing it. Anyway, wipe all the mess off your screen before you go into a trance and start rubbing your phone with John’s Instagram page open all over your body. Before you know it you’ll have a good-as-new screen, tears streaming down your face, and will have liked over ten of John’s latest pictures. Do you think he’s thinking of you???
Use these methods to clean your screen and hopefully not like any of John’s Instagram photos again in the process. You will never live that down. Good luck!