How to ‘Accidentally’ Have An Orgasm

Sex stuff can be embarrassing, and nothing’s more vulnerable than totally letting go in a moment of ecstasy. That’s why, when you have an orgasm, you should completely abdicate ownership and just be like, “Whaaat? Hmm, how did that happen?” Whether you’re exploring your body alone or getting down with a new partner, here’s how to “accidentally” have an orgasm and then play dumb. Taking ownership over pleasure is hard!

 

Just So Happen to Get Turned On

What a coincidence! The exact place where you put his hand is the place that gets you turned on. Weeeeiiird. When he can tell you’re getting into it be like, “Haha, what? Random!” Even when you’re literally guiding his mouth to a good place, make sure to say, “What am I even doing?” That way, when you come, you’ll be able to pass it off as a big accident. Otherwise he’ll find out you’re a sexual bitch who knows what she wants… yuck!

 

Stumble into Foreplay

Transform your flirty giggling into nervous laughter to mask the fact that you’re the architect of a big orgasm, and the building plans require some kissing and heavy petting. Pretend like you don’t even know how to unzip your jeans, let alone grab his dick, as you smash faces… just like you planned. By the time you’re on the O-train, he’ll be like, “This girl is a total fucking idiot. She did not mean to do this.” Success!

 

 

Set a Mood?

As you light candles, put on sultry music, and slip into something more comfortable, but make sure it all looks like a big fucking mess. Keep shrugging your shoulders as if to say, “Is this how you even put a chemise on? Who bought this for me?” When a classically sexy song comes on, mumble, “Stupid shuffle,” like it’s the phone’s fault. Later when you’re screaming in ecstasy your partner will have no chance but to conclude that this was some massive accident, not a calculated scenario planned with the precision of a serial killer.

 

Going for an orgasm outright is just too ambitious! With these sly tips, you’ll be able to “accidentally” have an orgasm… again and again and again!

COMMENTS

view all comments hide comments

Comments are closed.