How Long Can Cookie Dough Sit Out Before I Eat It Regardless Of Your Advice?

Hey there, quick question! How long can cookie dough sit out before I eat it regardless of your answer?

 

Listen, I know that cookie dough has an “expiration date” that I could read off the package and not have to ask you, but we all know that expiration dates are arbitrary numbers slapped onto packages by companies so they’re not liable, right? But I also don’t know how expiration dates change when the cookie dough has been left out? Thanks so much.

 

I’m not exactly sure how long it’s been out, but I know it’s been a while. I ate so much of it yesterday that I fell asleep and took one of those naps that’s impossible to wake up from and then when I finally woke up, I realized there was still cookie dough here and I am hungry again. Do you think it’s okay for me to eat even though I’m going to eat it no matter what you say?

 

Yes, I understand that I could cook the cookie dough and that would make it a safe and edible treat, but I don’t want cookies. I want cookie dough.

 

 

I just wanted to get your input real quick so that I could ignore it if it’s not what I want to hear.

 

Sure, the cookie dough is “technically” expired but what’s the worst that could happen? I get a little tummy ache? Maybe some E. coli or Zika? That’s better than wasting this half-bucket of perfectly good, but maybe not perfectly good cookie dough, right?

 

Sorry, can’t hear you; too busy already eating the cookie dough.

 

I don’t know…maybe if I mix it into an ice cream? What do you think? I really want to know your opinion even though I will 100% ignore you if you don’t say “cookie dough is good forever, go for it.”

 

I’ve been eating raw cookie dough for a very long time and I have never gotten sick. I mean I have gotten sick, but it was because I ate so much that I threw up, not because of the contents of the dough. I take this as evidence that I don’t have to listen to you, whatever you have to say to me.

 

Wow, I’m sorry, I’m being so rude. Do you want some, keeping in mind that I’m not willing to share?