Hot People Announce It’s Time For Them To Be Hot Separately

Hollywood is weeping today as two of its hot people have announced that it’s time for them to be hot separately.

 

A unified social media post from both Hot Man and Hot Woman went up this afternoon and immediately sent shock waves through the country.

 

“We just couldn’t keep being so hot together,” the post read. “We wanted to keep our power couple hotness together, but it was just too hard. We promise to continue being hot separately, though we know it won’t be the same as when our hotness is right next to each other, forming a superhuman vortex of sex.”

 

The nation has had trouble coming to terms with the fact that they might not be able to believe in double hotness anymore.

 

“We will never not be hot toward each other,” explained Hot Woman in a short statement. “But you don’t know all the struggles we had trying to keep our hotness under the same roof without the roof catching fire. It just isn’t a safe environment for our family.”

 

“They were a beacon of hope for me,” explains fan of hotness, Jennifer Melon. “If they’re not gonna be blazing hot, what do the rest of us have to believe in?”

 

According to anonymous sources, this split has been a long time coming.

 

 

“One time, Hot Woman told Hot Man that she still has the hots for him, but it’s just not what it used to be,” said an anonymous friend who is close to the hotties. “They were the hottest couple I know and it’s so heartbreaking to watch them try to move on, being sexy AF but in separate rooms.”

 

The hot couple has asked that we respect their space and privacy during this time. However, this request will probably not be respected, since it is very selfish that they’re not even going to share their hotness with the world individually.

 

No updates yet on whether the hot couple will move on to be with other hot people and bring hope back into the world.

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