It’s finally summer and you know what that means: your home is a hellscape because you don’t have an air conditioner, or the money to buy one! Thankfully the guy you’ve been casually seeing all spring has the AC window unit of your dreams. Here are the hottest new sex moves that show him you’re hot, and that you also really need to cool down.
Antarctic Missionary
Start out on your back, ready for regular sex to happen, but ask him to reach over your head and press his air conditioner’s power button before he presses any of yours. Let the pleasurable sensation of not sweating every fluid out of your body wash over you. This will serve as a reminder to him that your turn-ons include him turning on his AC.
Reverse Polarbear-Girl
In this position, you will face away from your guy before you straddle him. This is very similar to reverse cowgirl, except his AC is at the foot of his bed and will turn you into a dirty little ice queen on polar-back. Ride him like he’s a polar bear and you’re not a crayon melting in the summer sun.
Dire Wolf Style
This upgraded doggy-style will hit all the right spots for both of you: he will feel good penis feelings, and you will feel the chill of crisp air over your whole body. He’ll be too busy thrusting to notice you reach up with one hand and turn the AC on full blast. Let the endless stream of cool air blow back your hair like a cold little puppy dog leaning out a car window! You’ll be shivering with pleasure in no time.
Standing Ice Sculpture
If your man is strong, or at least strong-willed, have him lift you up as you wrap your legs around his waist. Direct him to position you right against the air conditioner and see if maybe he can bang you into Narnia. Who knew being cold could be so hot?
Beware of Ice on Bridge
Have him lay on his back and arch up into a bridge position, then delicately mount him. Having him prop up your entire body will make it so much easier to soak up all the conditioned air for yourself. Your head-to-toe literal chills will make this complicated balancing act worth it, for you not him.
This summer, strip down to nothing and let his touch be tolerable with the help of some unnaturally cold wind. Because it’s not truly erotic until you’re so cold you want to put clothes back on!
