Hollywood Listened! Time For a New Fantastic Beasts Film

After years of Hollywood ignoring what audiences are begging to see on the silver screen, execs have finally listened and given us yet another installation of the Fantastic Beasts franchise, entitled Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald. Following the wild success of Crazy Rich Asians and Black Panther, it makes complete sense that movie producers are taking that as a cue to make another white-led fantasy movie loosely set in the wizarding world of Harry Potter, without any of the original franchise’s cast in it.

 

“Audiences are craving stories that have been erased from the narrative,” says a representative from Warner Bros. Pictures. “That’s why we’re proud to announce we’re coming out with yet another movie about wizards starring Johnny Depp, Jude Law and Eddie Redmayne – three voices we’ve yet to hear from.”

 

When asked why this film is relevant to audiences today, the representative said: “The main character’s name is Newt Scamander. Does that answer your question?”

 

Yes, it does, and we are happy to see Hollywood really doing it’s best to improve representation by putting more real, lizard names and faces on screen.

 

Hollywood didn’t really address that Johnny Depp has been accused of domestic violence (nor that Jude Law cheated on his wife with their children’s nanny and Eddie Redmayne, a cisgender male, played an iconic trans woman in a biopic a few years ago).

 

However, we don’t really mind these horrifying allegations because we love wands and British stuff.

 

 

J.K. Rowling, creator of the Harry Potter series and screenwriter for the Fantastic Beasts films, issued a statement defending the casting choice:

 

“I take the allegations against the star of our film very seriously,” she wrote. “However this story must be told due to its extreme relevance to the lives of people worldwide. You see, in the real world horrifying racist rhetoric reigns. Our movie will have people in top hats. In the real world, terrorism leaves people fearful and paralyzed. In my script we say the word ‘Hufflepuff’ at least 14 times. Do you see now why this movie is essential?”

 

We do, and we can’t wait to spend $15 in theaters to see this and the next three that are going to be released after that!

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